On wedding Invitations/Response in Kerala

I can't be sure if this is an exclusively-mallu phenomenon but many Keralite would have come across such things at some point of their life.

Weddings, for the parents of Mallu grooms and brides, is a litmus test of their social-skills.Most often, they go much beyond litmus test and turn out to be a memory test, public speaking test,vocabulary test, writing skill test, management skill test and not to mention, physical and mental ability test as well.

And if you fail in any of these tests, there would be a sizeable fall in the number of guests, which is the only other parameter, along with the number of payasams in the sadya, that determine how "grand" the wedding was.

Now, what are the stimuli for a fall in the number/displeasure of mallu guests at a given wedding?

1) "He sent me an invitation over post! He is probably settled in Mumbai. But can't he come here and invite us all in person! We needn't attend this wedding. We shall tell him that we are attending Unnikrishnan's mother's niece's husband's brother's son's wedding on the same day! Halla Pinne! "

2) Now a look at the invitation. "Check this.. he has written 'We invite you with family'.. he has missed the word 'cordially' and he has addressed it to 'Mr. Gopalakrishnan and family'.. not 'Mr & Mrs. Gopalakrishnan & family'! Is this how you invite family! Bah!"

3) Now, suppose he did come all the way from Mumbai to invite in person, this is how things will move."Wedding is in Thrissur? How will we come? Have you arranged bus for all of us from here? What? Bus is from Trivandrum? You have not arranged bus from Cochin?? Thats so difficult!"

4) Now if bus is also arranged to have them taken from Cochin to Thrissur, there is another glitch. "Remember, when we invited him for our son's wedding last year, he didn't even acknowledge the invitation sent by post. And all he sent was a telegram wish. That was late by 2 days. Chetta, Should we go?"

5) Finally after much thought Chettan and Chechi decide to go. Along with them are chechi's sister, her kids and chechi's aged amma and achan. Once there Chettan again has a problem. Groom's Achan is not seen at the Mandapam's gate. Where is he! He should have come to welcome us!! After all, we are his grand father's brother's wife's sister's son and family!

6) Thats when he sees groom's father and mother on the mandapam, blessing the newly wedded couple and carrying out other rituals. Chettan remarks "See, this is why I told you we should not have come! That guy is busy on stage. He doesn't bother if we came or not!"

7) At the lunch, the exhausted father of the groom comes to say thanks to all the guests who have joined. At chettan's place "Hows the sadya?". Chettan says "It is great mone! Kalakki!" and once he leaves, chettan whispers to chechi "The rice is not even cooked well! And the pappadam is over!"

8) At the end of it all, chettan and chechi go to bless the newly wedded couple. The father of the groom asks his son "Mone.. you remember this uncle?". The groom gives that sheepish smile he has reserved for stranger-guests. "Aaah.... uhhhmm... no, we have not met I think". Chettan is disheartened but nevertheless gives a slap on the back of the groom and says "Aaah... how can he! He was a baby when I last saw him. See how he has grown! HAHAHHAHA" and that gurgling chortle continues for a good one minute until the videographer asks him to move out of the stage and asks the next family to come up!

Oru dubai-kaarde "dream house"..

Disclaimers : It goes without saying that in a narration so close to real-life as this all characters are fictitious :) Any and every resemblance of the characters to your NRI neighbour is purely coincidental.


Now that I am safe, let me start the narration..


Our auto roared its way on the stony road throwing us left and right, as if in a ketchup bottle! We hung on to dear lives until we saw the wrought iron gates looming big and the auto slowed down and stopped abruptly.


Mom and I got out, feeling like a packet of bones.


Me : "Ethraayi?" (How much is it?)

Auto driver : 15 rupees.

Me : "15 rupees? Nammal keralam kadannillallo atinu!" (We have not gone as far as crossing the Kerala border!)

Auto driver : "Ingane oru road-inde attathu kondu aarelum veedu vekkyo! itil odikkaan 15 rupees pora!" (Who will build a house at the other end of such a road! I should have asked for more that 15 rupees!)

Me : :D atu correct-a chetta!!! (That's correct bro! Note: The safest way to address any TDH here is 'chetta')


Having found a third person to blame, I handed over the Rs 20 note and took the change back from him. The auto driver took a look at the mansion behind the gate and murmuring something under his breath started the auto and roared away.


Sheela aunty,with a (well-practiced)pleasant smile greeted us at the door,err..door..we will call it yet-another-huge-gate. From the slippers strewn all around the car porch, I guessed there would be at least 300 people inside the house!


Sheela aunty serenaded across the airy living room, the pallu of her kancheepuram sari flowing lightly in the air. There, I saw Sreedharan uncle smiling at us, his gold-rimmed glasses sparkling under the crystal chandelier.


"Varu...veedu kaanichu taraam" said Sheela aunty. (Come, I will show you around the house)


Through out the "tour", I was too spellbound to speak a word! The house was like a palace! Sheela aunty was talking non-stop, going by the details of it all.


"Italian marbles thanne venam flooring ennu enikku nirbhandham undaayirunnu...Bedroomil wood panelingum.." (I wasnt ready to settle for anything less than Italian marbles for flooring and wood paneling for bedrooms).


"Sree ettanum njanum koode last time vannathu thanne bathroom-il tiles select cheyyanaayirunnu.." (Sree ettan and I had come to India last time just to choose the tiles for our bathroom)


"Shooo...Geethey...ee veedu pani kaaranam mathiyaayinnu thanne parayallo..!" (Geetha, I must admit I am exhausted running behind this construction work!)


Mom was nodding sympathetically after every line and chirping the same sentence after each of Sheela's aunty's woe-filled sentences "Pakshe Sheela, nannaayittundu ellaam!" (But Sheela, everything looks great!)


When mom thought she might require an aspirin soon, she made a mild remark "Sheela thaazhe pokko..aalkkaarokke vannittundaakum. njangal kandolaam veedu" (Sheela, You go down and receive the guests, we'll go around ourselves)


I felt this was one among the top 10 great things mom had done in last 10 years and deserved an Award for Timely Action!


Mom and I moved from room to room..each one looked a thousand times more beautiful than the previous one.

Me :"Ethra chilavaakki kaanum mommy?" (How much have they spent?)

Mom :"Oru 70-75 lakhs ennaanu paranjey...kettille??" (Around 70-75 laksh..didnt you hear when she said?)


Mom at some point : "Itaano Ja-koo-zee??Angane alle?" (Is this Jacuzzi, did I say it right?) with an obvious effort in her voice to frame the foreign word for her by fetching 3 random pieces from her vocabulary.


"Yo, lathu thaan" (Yes, it is) answered the smart me!


After having a heated discussion over if they would use all this, with mom saying they wouldn't use any and me arguing who wouldn't use it after paying from their nose, we came down stairs.


Still spellbound, I rarely recollect what the menu was. But yeah, an embarrassingly looong burp was heard from many around.


Having bid goodbye to Sheela aunty and complimenting her on her "dream home" (that is what she called it), we took an auto back home with me echoing "allelum dubaikkaarkku entha...kore kaashundallo!" (the dubai NRIs are always filthy rich!)


A week later, back at work, during one of our long telephone conversations I asked if Sheela aunty has settled in her "dream house". Mom replied "Avaru enne thirichu poyi...avide ippo randu watchman-um naalu pattikalum kaaval undu" (They left for Dubai long back. There are 2 watchmen and 4 dogs to guard the house now).


Bottom line : "Ee yogam ennoke parayanatil vallllya artham undu tto!" (No no...a translation here would never live up to its original!! Sorry!)

On School Annual Days...

Right through my school days, the Annual Day was probably the day I always looked forward to the most, year after year!

Was it the excitement of performing on the stage, in front of beaming parents, or the anxious wait to get your prize for co-curricular activities(CCA), or the thrill of bunking class for practice... I know not what, but I always had a hard time sleeping on the eve of the D-day, my little heart thumping loud with excitement!


The memories are still fresh.. I can still see me in white-n-white singing the group song "Kadam se kadam, milake chalo" in IL auditorium as a 6 year old. The next year was an action song, with all the 30 of us dressed as Nehru!!! We had all got our kurtas stitched and wore a red satin pundit ji coat with a gulab pinned on it! The year after that was another action song with me doing a "koyal"!!! A black kurta-pyjama with a pair of black wings made by the teachers and a black beak which I had made it myself of which I was toooo proud! I can imagine how silly I would have looked by the expression of the chief guest when she gave me my prize. She was smiling ear-to-ear in the photograph, handing over the prize to a cuckoo!!!

Having advanced to more "human-like" attires for the next few years was a welcome change, for, people could now spot me on stage with ease :)

But even then, the feeling was all the same. The day usually starts early with all of the "participants" (boy, that was a privileged section!) coming to the town hall where the function would be held. There would be stage rehearsals again and again while the ones free for the time would go around exploring the town hall, playing hide-n-seek and what not!

And come 4:30, the early birds would be there, occupying seats..Meanwhile the "participants" get dressed in the green room. As the make-up artist paints your face, you hold your breath for the fear of smearing the lip stick while you peek out of the corner of your eyes and try to make out if you are looking fine from the expressions of your friends who are watching you in earnest! The patience you exhibit is amazing and the moment the artist mutters a "hmmm" indicating he is done, you grab the mirror to check if you look good! And most of the times you will look sick and go and complain to the teacher in charge. She would pat your cheek and say no, you are looking great! And that helps!!


Once done, you are seen wandering back stage, meeting other friends and playing teh guess-who games with them, for you never recognize each other! And by 6 the hall is jam packed. And then the agonizing wait for the chief guest's speech to get over, followed by princi's annual report, blah-blah-blah.. meanwhile you are all queued up back stage with your badge number. In your 10th or 12th, you would be at the tail end! And somehow dad and mom would come and meet us here, hand over a pack of biscuits may be and say "Enda oru vesham!!" (What a dress!!!) with an expression that will prompt you to take a hanky and remove the excess lip stick!

The prize distribution ceremony gets over in a jiffy and you don't even have time to check what book you got as prize! We gotta run for the last practice! Time flies the fastest during that time and you would be seen standing back stage, looking at your other friends performing and you wait, for your group is the next.

As you listen to the mic throwing echoes around, as you vaguely make out the occupants of the first row against the glaring lights, as you hear your ma'am saying "boys and girls...do your best!" , and as you play that long dialog where you always made mistakes again and again in your mind, you can hear your heart is racing, and probably of the guy standing next to you too! Probably he has heard yours too, for he is looking at you and grinning. And then you notice that the curtains are falling... and the people on stage are going away... Your heart has almost stopped beating now!!! The lights go off and the curtains are down. You hear a voice "C'mon..lets go!"..somebody screams a "All the best guys!" and you softly walk on the wooden stage...take your position... curtains up..lights on... and you give your bestest smile to the audience to start with!!!


Rest can come in another episode!

Washed Away...

And they were gone...almost 4 or 5 pages , 2 of them completely irrecoverable. Through the thick film of tears in my eyes, I looked at them as I traced the fonts gel into one another and smearing the entire page with a light shade of pink. The pages were soggy wet and smelling like a buttermilk factory!

In a hopeless attempt to retreive them, I laid the pages carefully beneath the ceiling fan. The ceiling fan did its best but what was lost was gone forever!

My most precious and one and only cookery book which had ALL the info I had gathered all these months... from mathan elissery to paneer butter masala..were all gone! The utter helplessness that was written all over my face was more than enough to bring a riot of laughter around me... but the loss for me was indeed a great one!

Thankyou Ceiling fan, for trying your best! :-) Here are the results -

Lessons learnt :
1) Never keep your cookery book next to the milk left for curdling. It might overflow and drench your cook book pages!
2) Never take down recipes using an ink-pen or gel pin. Always use a ball-point pen.
3) Never depend on cook books FOR EVER. Coz they are never there FOREVER.

Monday in School...

This is the story I wrote for the short story contest in office today.. and coincidently it happens to be the first story I have penned in my life :-)

Little Neha never liked Mondays. She wondered why God had made a day thats not liked by just about anybody she has met in life.Mondays always seemed longer than any other day. Not just longer, they felt depressingly darker somehow.Mondays usually had you writing exams, submitting homeworks and sometimes, PTA meetings too!And as if all those were not enough to hate mondays, the Bangalore Traffic Jams, as daddy says!

And today was not just-another-monday, Neha knew. Her mom was back with her this weekend after a long span of 6 months in the US. Neha had pleaded her to take her along when her when her mom said she was to go onsite for 6 months. "In which country is onsite in mommy?" ,Neha had asked her, in between her sobs.. and mommy had laughed and taken her in her arms and said "No dear, onsite is not a place... Am going to work for a while in US for my company and that is called onsite".

She was so happy to have her mom back soon! Her grandma and grandpa had come from Chennai on Saturday and they had gone to pick her Mom from the airport on Sunday morning.

It had been a hectic weekend for little Neha. She had planned lot of surprises for her mom. Saturday was spent with Dad and Neha going around shopping for groceries, something that Neha used to love doing with her mom before she left. She would carefully pick up packets from the shelves and take a good look at whatever is written at the back, imitating her mom,
though she rarely understood anything.. but it made her feel like mommy and she loved the feeling! After taking care to pick up few packets of chikkis for her mom, she returned home and collected all her toys scattered around and put them neatly into her box.

Neha hardly slept on Saturday night thinking about all the things she planned to do once her mom is back home. She woke up her grandma time and again to ask if it was morning. She didn't remember when she slept, but was already awake and looking at the hands of the clock when grandma came to wake her up in the morning.

On Sunday she was ready even before her dad! And she stood next to the car and screamed "Daddy, come soon..we are going to be late!!" While she waited, she shouted in glee at the newspaper boy "My mama is coming today!!", and then at guy who supplied milk, at the watchman , at the uncle next door...!!

And when mom landed, Neha was running helter-skelter! She ran into her arms and hugged her mom, not speaking a word! Ah, mom's smell is so special! She was too happy to even speak!!

Back at home, the existence of dad,grandma and grandpa was completely ignored by little Neha and she was always with her mom. She did everything she had missed doing in the past 6 months.. she sang to her mom all the new songs she had learnt, mom made Neha her favourite cookies, they went out and had ice creams and then her mom read to her in the night and was at her bed side till she slept.. It was a perfect day!

Monday morning it is... Neha felt like crying out loud.. "Its not fair, I don't want to go to schoolll!!" but mom wouldn't listen. It had been raining heavily since the night before and it was quite cold.Neha remembered she had not done any of the school works in the weekend and her Dad had also completely forgotten about checking her school diary amidst all the weekend rush.

"Mommy, I have not done my English homework and the teacher is going to beat me.. You won't believe it, she beats really hard..I don't want to go...". Mom was not budging at all. She gave another pleading look at grandma knowing her heart would melt. "Let her stay at home Padma, after all she is a small kid". Neha nodded her head and with an even more sad face, she looked up at her mom again to see the response. Hmm.. no way! With a sunken heart she packed her bags and left to school in the rain.

In the bus,as she watched people on the roads with umbrellas, she thought of all the good times spent yesterday and then about her English teacher who is going to beat her soon. Neha never liked her English teacher, but yes, she hated Mondays more.

In the English class, ma'am walked in. Neha was scared to even wish her. She was the famous terror in her school.The kids never liked her because she never hesitated in beating them! Neha's throat was going dry. Teacher began looking into the notebooks of the children in the first bench.. one after the other..Neha was in the 3rd bench. As her turn was fast approaching, Neha was sweating though it was cold and damp outside.

She could hear the teacher getting angry at Rahul for having made a lot of mistakes. Tina was beaten and she began crying. Arun was sent out of the class because he didn't do his. She even said she wants to meet his parents.Peter, who sat next to Neha was fumbling with the pages when ma'am asked him his notebook. "GET OUT OF MY CLASS" she screamed and the whole class froze in silence. Peter was inconsolable.

Neha thought she would burst from within, the tension was mounting so high!

"Excuse me,ma'am. There is a message from the principal to all students" , Rajan uncle, the peon in the office was at the door. Ma'am took the paper from his hand and read out aloud to the class "On account of heavy rain in the city, considering the safety of students and members of staff, all classes have been suspended. Everybody is requested to leave the school premises and board the school buses rightaway and go home."

"Children,please go and board the school bus and return home... there are no classes today".. For a moment, Neha's face turned expressionless. Then all of a sudden she got up and screamed.."Yeeeeaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.." in joy!!

Soon enough the whole class was jumping with joy!! The teacher was also looking at the little ones and joining in thier celebrations... Everything had changed in a split second!!! Neha looked out through the glass panes as the rains lashed outside and whispered to herself
"thankyou rain!! Mondays are not so bad " and gigggled to herself.

Why Everybody needs a Mom like Mine!!!! :-))

Mom was quite shaken when she discovered that she had one of the most deadliest "PJ sense" ..I think it was around the time when my bro was in college... He called it a kind of "parallel thinking". Am strictly prohibited from listing down any of her PJ's on my blog (In fact,she doesn't even want me to tell it to my frnds coz she thinks its awkward for moms to crack PJs!!)
Yesterday, in between the rain of test sms-es I was getting from her (She was learning to type/send sms yesterday!!) ,I msged back asking her to contribute something for my blog if she was free. And here is what she wrote for my blog....

(Its entirely un-edited)
----------------------------------------------------------
Hi Beti,
Sub:- Mother of a Bloggist(blogger-bloggistsariyalle?)
Once upon a time there lived a bloggist.She lived wth her Mother blogger &Father.Blogging is her hobby & she asked everybod towrite blogs.One day poor Mother blogger tried to blog& fell asleep.The moral of the story is anybody who wants to sleep may write blogs. 'Kutty karayenda.' I liked yourblogs.Especially about your mother,about the cookingskills you have inherited from your mother etc .I went30 years back when I started my experiments in the kitchen. Poor Dad,Now poor Sandy. Anyway carry onwith cooking & blogging.Photograph of girl playing inrain looks nice.I want to see you. .Please come & haveChoodu kappa & meen curry.
I told Etta that I am goingto write blog for Soo."Enikku vayya " ennuparanju.Avan onnum vayikkarilla ennu paranju. Naanpavamalle.Ithu porey.
Bye
Mom.
-----------------------------------------------------------
And I guess now u know why I say "Ende mommy oru rakshayumilla"!!! :-))

I love the rains coz....

The skies are cloudy today and it looks like we will have a downpour here tonight.. At last!! Today's post might look very silly and 6-yr-oldish but can't help it..am in such a dunno-wat-to-do-so-bored mood!
So here we go...

I love it when it rains coz..

-> I love watching the dark clouds covering up the skies ready to burst any moment. And that moment when the first big drop of rain splatters on my arm, I am reminded that I have no umbrella with me and that am wearing the newest and my favourite-st clothes which had a tag "Dry-clean only" ... The feeling of utter helplessness as you look around for a shelter not there combined with the glee as it starts pouring is a strange feeling a lil similar to the one you have had when u faced that question paper on computer organization and design back in 4th semester and you saw that all the questions were "out-of-syllabus" and you didn't have a clue as to what they are asking you to elaborate for 15 marks!!! All you did then was look around and giggle. Same here when you are soaked to you skin...

-> I love the smell of the damp earth. It makes me look too poetic and romantic, but naah... just that somehow it makes me want to go home :-(

-> Mom makes kappa-meen curry then for sure !!! A hard-core kappa fan ,my mom sees to it that we have a steaming kappa and spicy meen curry awaiting us when we get back home drenched completely...yummmmyyyy..

-> Most of the time we have the famous power failures!!! And its time to curl up in the bed with a warm blanket and pillow.. No wonder power failures were such a "Most Wanted Phenomenon"!

-> Rains might bring a rainbow... one more thing which I can keep watching until it disappears.. Last week ,I was in the company bus at 6 when I noticed a beautiful rainbow looking like a bridge between two towers. I tried showing it to a girl from the same stop who was sitting next to me.. "Look , there is a rainbow.."..She looked around and asked me "A what?? Where?" .. I said again .."A Rainbow...see there..looks nice na..".. She looked took one look at it and said "Haa..yeah...rainbow" and returned to listenig to the chattering of RJ's on her cell. Got so annoyed.. rainbow vs RJ, RJ wins??? Too bad!!! :-(

-> You are relieved to know that if God himself cries at times (naah..thru out the season!) , its alright for u too to shed a few :-p

Like Daddy Like Daddy-in-Law!

The conversation was turning very interesting one day...Sand and I were discussing about childhood days and the topic carelessly swirled to our dads.. And it didn't take long for us to keep exclaiming "hey, my dad used to say/do the SAME THING when we were kids" after every new point we discussed abt our dads... Surprisingly,the points we noted were in no way helpful to conclude that all daddies around the world were the same coz the similarities we noticed were not something that you would readily tag as a daddyish-behaviour...they were more or less character specific traits,rather than a role-specific trend. AT the back of my mind,I had already decided to blog about this... And here goes the points:

1) Both our dads NEVER EVER used to get us Pepsi/Coke/or any aerated drinks for that matter,when we were young. For me, the restriction went as far as to my teens.

2) Chewing Gum was a strict ban. No matter how efficiently you list down the names of dads of your friends who don't have a blanket-ban on gums, its not going to work here.A ban is a ban is a STRICT BAN !

3) Sand and I,both, had one long-term Homeo doc (not the same) who used to be at our aid when we were running temperatures or when we showed symptoms of measles. He was always The One and Only Doc trusted by our dads.. And the tiny sugary pills were the only medicines that were given to us for a long time in childhood! (One more common point : both of us loved the pills!!:-D )

4) Sea was always a nightmare for both our dads when we were kids (or even in our teens ). Even wetting our legs was a result of a deal made in half-an-hour after we have decided if the legs are to be made wet one inch above the knees or half an inch below. :-)

5) Both our dads used to love getting us masala dosas when we went out in the evening... There was hardly any room for a second thinking when asked what we wanted ! :-) And strangely, ice creams were also in the pls-avoid list for both our dads!! And stranger still, we never protested too !

6) Both our dads love the same fruit :Bananas ! 'Nothing like Bananas' was the common punch line that was mentioned on a daily basis and once this is said, the rule goes without saying that you are supposed to eat atleast 2 after your dinner so that "the loo-blues" are avoided!! :-S

7) "Train-il poyaal cutlet venammmm " :-) And dads ,though try to make us understand that they are made in unhygienic conditions, have to relent to the cries!

8) Both our dads are the "trusted-unofficial career consultant" for many a worried parent of a Standard Xth student and both have a soft corner for the engineering stream and make it a point to suggest a rigorous entrance coaching at trissur from the famous Mr.P.C.Thomas's when asked what stream is the best for their son/daughter who has scored a 98% in their boards!

So much said and done , the discussion was such a relief for both us....coz when you realise that your daddy in law is no different from your own dad , you can be sure that a blog on this would be met with a safe response from either sides and that you needn't duck your head!!!! :-))

Love ya Daddy and Daddy-in-law!

Confessions of an Embarrassed Mind

>Everybody would have had childhood fantasies and crazy thoughts.. Penning them in a blog for the world to see would be the most embarassing thing,but I guess I can dare to do it ;-)
Few among the craziest which I remember are..

1) I thought that the seats made out of bricks in the railway stations were used to bury people if they died waiting for a train in the railway stations! Still worse,I used to think it was so mannerless of people to sit on other's graves!!

2) I thought being a "Bank Manager" was the highest point of anybody's career... whether you be a teacher,a doc or an employee of the bank! I remember arguing with my dad when he asked me to do something I really didn't feel like doing saying
"You are not a Bank Manager..then why should I be listening to your orders!"

3) My school was still in its infant stages when I joined KVK in the 1st Std. It had classes only till the 9th Std then. And as per my 7 yr old database, that became the last phase of one's education. I didn't hesitate to tell my parents and neighbours that
"After 9th Std, marriage" :-)) A puzzled dad (or may be worried?? ;-) ) asked me to repeat what I had just announced and I was the least hesitant to do it! All of them roared with laughter I remember,and I obviously found the joke unintelligible then.Atleast now I don't ;-)

4) This was not during my childhood...it was during my early teens. I thought God had accidently "endowed" me with pheromones cos one day I tried to shoo away a frog and it kept following me wherever I go for another one and half hour until I
got so terrified that I trapped it under a bucket!
Another instance which almost confirmed my belief was cos of the lizard that used to live beneath the tube light in our dining room. The identification mark was the black mole on its back.I christened it Venky (I don't remember why!). Venky used to come out from his abode whenever I sat on my chair in the dining table.And was that a smile! I thought so ;-) One more classic observation was that Venky loved it when I hummed Hindi songs.And when I tried few English songs,it used to turn its back at me and hide behind the tube light again. Being the smart kid I was,I wasn't letting go of the research with just that. I would sing a line from one of the Hindi songs followed by a line in English and alternating it...the expected behaviour was Venky would come out,Venky would go back,Venky would come out... alas.. :-)

I guess I revealed too much already! I am not all that courageous to go on.. ;-)

Now buzz off... I ain't spoiling my reputation :-))

Cheers!!!

What thou speaketh is English?

Haven't you faced situations in life where you wished you could have rolled on the floor with laughter,but since the butt of the joke is usually somebody much superior to you in the heirarchy,you have had to submerge those giggles and at the same time prevent your face from turning pink in the effort.

I remember an incident way back in the first year of my engineering days.All of us were attending our first class in the mechanical workshop. Everybody looked curiously at all the gigantic machines around us and for people like me who happen to be both vertically and horizontally challenged,it was only natural to let out a silent prayer to Lord Vignesha, hoping that these metallic giants would cooperate with me when I need them to.

Having sensed our uneasiness in the presence of machines equalling twice our height,the tutor,with an air of superiority,cleared his throat and began with the rules and regulations to be followed in the lab. "First and foremost,if you ignore the machine,don't work the machine"..

All of us quirked our eyebrows..what was that? Somebody dared to ask.."Sir...?Excuse me..but..could you repeat what you said?"..By then everybody had a smile on their faces..growing at an amazing rate to an endless laughter against which our bodies were fighting a battle in vain. But nobody dared to laugh...except this single guy,oops,and he was sent out :-)

At times people speak English in the most idiotic way ,seemingly non-idiotic to them that we are at a loss to decide whether to laugh or act as though you didn't notice anything wrong! You get the message clear and loud,so does everybody....but... :-D

Reminds me of this bird watcher friend of my brother,with whom he had frequent and interesting correspondences. His clumsy broken English sentences even managed to be humour laden.And the best part of it was,being a nature-lover that he is, nobody got suprised when he signed off as "Yours naturally,XYZ" :-D

And as a foot note,in case you thought such incidents occured due to the lack of education.. look at how education ruined this sweet 6 yr old girl in my neighbourhood. What she said about her pregnant mom one day sent both my mom and me laughing to death that the little girl was almost close to tears for having been teased! "Mommy said,its a bull in her tummy..." chirped the innocent girl. My mom and me gave each other quizzical looks.I pressed on.."Bull? She told you that? But how can a bull get inside your mom's tummy?" She couldn't understand what was it in her statement that I didn't follow.So with great deal of patience she explained.."Seeeee....mommy's tummy is big na? she told me..its a bull inside her tummy....u know..bull...bulllllllll.....not cowwwwwww....." Any comments ;-)

Veendum Oru Vishu...

Innu Kerala New Year Vishu pramaanichu Malayalathil "blog"aan theerumaanichu..Ende ippraavishathe vishu bangalore_il thanne aayi..aadyaayittaanu vishu diwasam veettil ninnum maari nilkkunnathu.

Innale raathri kidakkunnathinu munbu athyaavisham nalla saadhanangal okke pillow_de side_il othukki vechittaanu kidannathu...raavile kannu thurakkumbol ormayode kaanane ennu praarthichittu kidannu.

Samayam 6:15...ende mobile goes beep beeep beeep beeeeeeeep...Reflex action pole mobile_il nokki.."Alarm off!!" "Snooze" ennokke paranju light minnunnu...Aiyyyooooo....vishu kani!!! Vegam kannadachu bed_il position cheythu kannu thurannu,to see the mirror...ende thottu purake oru nalla window aayathukondu sooryaprakashathil frame itta enne njan mirror_il kandu...(kandu ennu parayaam..aake frame maathrame kandollu!!) pinne pillow_de thaazhennu oru photo album eduthu..last page edukkunnathinu pakaram ormayillaathe 1st page eduthu...NSS College of Engineering ennu ezhuthiya valya building..ooops...thetti poyi..last page eduthu..hmmm...thank god..mom,dad and pj..:-D

Angane kure mistakes okke kazhinju vishu kani kandu.. Pinne chaadi odi pidanju marinju oru kuliyum b-fast_um kazhichu veendum chaadi odi bus stop_il ethi,just-miss aakenda bus_inde purake odi chaadi keri phew-huff-puff okke kazhinju settle aayi..office ethi..back to work...anganeyum oru vishu!

God's Own Country-You are missed!

Lush paddy fields,circled by a chain of palm trees,a gurgling stream finding its way
through tiny narrow openings,caressing the smooth white pebbles underneath,mountains lining up the horizon kissing the clouds and blue blue clear sky as you look up .....the thought of
Kerala fills my heart with pride and love and that longing drives you so crazy that you are
prompted to go through your calendar.

Running my finger along the rows of the month,my eyes
light up as I see 30th marked in grey in my official calendar.Applying for leave on 31st was the next chore in hand.And then finally tickets to that sleepy town-Palakkad! Its summer back in Kerala and am looking forward to the ripe mangoes and jackfruits waiting
for me!Reminds me of those sultry afternoons during the summer vacation when there was
absolutely no option about going out.I used to make myself as comfortable as possible before
the TV with juicy mangoes in hand....

And come June ,it rains cats and dogs!I studied in a school where summer vacation began a
little late and stretched to mid June.For the other schools in the state,June 1 is Day 1 for
the next year.And the monsoon in Kerala plays the prank every time. It lets out all its fury
right from that day! Its really a sight to watch kids return from school,drenched to their
skins despite their raincoats and umbrellas.Once back home,there is a lot of hard work to be
done...the brand new leather shoes is completely soaked,an entire bucket full of water is
wrung out of the socks and the uniform no longer identifies your school! But as all kids
knew,that was all mama's job...:-) How I miss those days!! Kerala,I miss you! And am coming....! Have a nice day!

When I grow up....

Title sounds too mystifying to be said by a 22 yr old..right? Well..today while I was wracking my brains(excuse me,why do we use a plural here???:-o) about what I should be writing in my second blog , I had 2 choices ...either to write about the gory details of the "battle" I had today in the morning in the "arena" (a.k.a The Bathroom) with my opponent (a deadly sized creature with sturdy claws and a menacingly long tentacle,firmly sticking to my bath towel) or...something much less gory..the multitudes of ways I used to complete this sentence "When I grow up,I want to be a.." in the past years..I chose the latter.
As some great PJ master said.."Let me begin from the beginning.."..

My first day in school as a 4 yr old...I remember very little of that day except for this incident.The teacher in blue sari (She was pretty,but I always thought my mom was the prettiest in those days...! ) asked all of us to answer a question.."What do you want to be when you grow up?" Initially none of us got her question.Then she suggested.."like..teacher..doctor...??" Many around me flashed smiles,probably because they got their answer...but I was still have the same puzzled face.My classmates started answering her question..one by one.."teacher..".."doctor.."..."doctor..".."teacher.."...somebody said "pilot" (and I wondered what in the world was that!) ...my turn was fast approaching...and I had still not got the answer...I could feel my hands going cold...what am I to say????

Then the person right ahead of me said "Doctor" and immedietely I sprang to my feet and said "teacher..",for the only reason that my friend had said "doctor" and how can I say the same thing????..I sat down and relaxed for having answered the question.
That was my first way of ending that sentence...when I didn't even know what the question meant!
Soon as I "grew up" inch by inch,I fancied doing all kinds of jobs...After what I thought was careful thought,I decided to stick to the teacher figure for quite some years..until I was about 8 or 9 yrs old.I had narrowed down my dream to a "KV teacher" cos I was a KV student.

Then when I was 10 yrs old,teacher announced one day in class that there was this essay competition in school and the topic was "My Ambition in Life"..hmm..why not participate! Back home,I was pestering dad to come up with an "exotic" profession so that I could win the first prize ;-)..and both of us put our heads together and decided that I should be writing an essay saying I wanted to become an "articket"..i mean..an "architect"..with great difficulty I managed to pronounce the word. Soon a nice essay was prepared by daddy and I memorized every line of it in no time!

Voila!!! The essay won the second prize...(I secretly wondered what "extra-exotic" profession the 1st prize winner had come up with!) ..and that day I decided I would become an architect!!!
Those were merry days....cos even though I changed my mind few times,I still secretly hoped to become an architect when I grew up...

The other jobs that caught my attention were..and the weird reasons why were...
1) News reader...cos I had a crush on almost all the news readers in my teens and dreamt of reading news with them!
2) An anchor for cookery shows in TV because I envied those people on Tv who managed to get along without cooking,but still dug their teeth into all the yummy things the chefs cook!
3) An aerobics teacher because I thought that was the only way somebody who didn't know the ABCs of dancing would dance and the world would still not laugh at them!
4) And finally a software engineer (which today I am)....cos...:-)

And today,as I look back on all the clumsy thoughts I had,I still think of all those dreams-unrealized,with a smile on my face...may be one day I can fufill them....??? And the equally clumsy fact is that I have still not stopped uttering the statement "When I grow up.." even today...!!!! have a nice day!!!