When your car is for sale..

Yesterday our Swift got its last service done before it will be put for sale. While S was on his way to pick it up from the service station I couldn't fight back tears thinking how, one day, in very near future, I would have to stand at our basement watching somebody drive it away, never to see it again. Probably I'd break down.

Well, for most of the 4 years that the swift was ours, I have hardly sat on the driver's seat. So it sounds weird even to myself that am so emotionally attached to it when S, who, loves being behind its wheel, is not so much! One major reason could be the excitement for the new toy he is trading this one for. Or probably because he is so used to seeing his dad sell their car often. Or probably, as they say, Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus :-)

Coming to think of it, I realise that its not just the Swift that I had problems selling! I've had trouble giving away just about ANYTHING that was mine :-p I was shocked when mom gave away my bicycle as an 'Onam gift' to the maid's daughter without asking me. I am pretty sure the scooty might see a similar fate. Worse still, I remember how, at about 4~5 years, I got granny to get back all my old clothes that she gave someone the previous day. It was embarrassing for her, but I was just not consolable for hours.

It is hard to explain why a few people react this way. You can't call it selfishness. It is not that I don't want the other person to have it. It is that I can't keep my emotions in check when the actual parting happens. It tears me apart to see that thing in somebody else's possession and as the distance between the thing and me increases, there is this sudden urge to scream .. "No, wait! Please! Give it back to me!". If am able to get through those few crucial seconds, usually, am OK with the parting - out of sight is out of mind!

And so, coming back to the swift, am dreading that moment of parting. Probably S would ask me to stay home to avoid the scene, but I do want to be there too :-p

The For Sale ad is ready and we would be publishing it soon. I hope we do get a decent deal. The new toy is expected by early Feb and both of us are looking forward to it.

But, for reasons unknown, the Swift will remain emotionally attached to me. (I would love to add the word "forever" at the end of the statement for drama-sake, vendalle? ;-))

Our Resolutions – Year After Year!

So it is December already! Some call it the month for retrospection where we look back with pride and see our achievements written in gold while many others feel December is the excuse God created to forgive ourselves for everything that we couldn't pull this year. December is the corner; we make the turn and it is a new beginning, all over again!



A new beginning signifies changes. And inevitably, it leads us to resolutions, in particular the New Year Resolutions. I can see you smile now! Well, admittedly, for lesser mortals like us, coming up with resolutions for the New Year is a daunting task. This is probably because we have almost lost respect for this term trying to follow the same resolution of staying fit(ter) year after year over the last 5 years and we prefer something different this year! Secondary to this reason is the pressure that the entire universe is putting on us to come up with wackier resolutions, so much that its not a concern whether we choose to follow it or not! Our parents think its high time we "settled down and became more responsible", our manager thinks its high time we started playing a significant role in our team and so developed the skills accordingly, our friends think we are worth our weight in gold for an MBA and so should give it a try and our magazine team in the division thinks we should send one or two resolutions for the contest they are organizing too. And of course, the pressure within us to change! Do we need more?



I almost forgot to mention the choices we have these days. Remember those days when New Year resolutions boringly read "I shall improve my hand writing", "I shall read at least 2 books every month" or "I shall visit the temple every day."? Today we have endless choices in both 'encouraging' and 'discouraging' resolutions. By “encouraging” I mean "I shall fulfill my parents wishes and get married this year" ,"I shall start my own tech blog" and "I shall spend more time with my family and aim at a healthy work-life balance". The latter types are "I shall quit smoking.. err.. wait, I mean I shall smoke only 3 per day", "I shall not shop/spend on impulse every time I see a shop!" or "I shall not spend more than 8 hours(!) a day on Facebook". The time and tested resolutions like going to the gym, waking up early and reaching office on time and lowering your cholesterol levels have reined the list since eternity, for Humanity thinks its a sin to erase them off the list.



All said and done, by the end of December you too would have a list of little-somethings to call it your resolution and save your face. It is a different question if the list is same as the list that you had last year or the year before, the important question is whether you have a list or not. After solemn pledging and declarations that hint we might turn over a new leaf the moment the clock strikes 12 we set out to welcome the New Year and hopefully, a new ‘I’.



January is the month we fall in love with ourselves, all over again! The sheet of resolutions proudly stuck on our wall is still intact and we can’t but think “Yes! I made it this year!” But sadly, we now guess that when that great somebody said something about history repeating itself, he probably was staring at his own resolution sheet peeling off from his wall.



So have you made yours?


PS: Wrote this for a light reading column in the division newsletter. My estranged blog gave me this woebegone look that melted my heart. So did a copy-paste here.

What would you have wanted to do? vs What did you do?

This is a quickie.
I was on my way back home in the 8:00 PM can after work. A girl and a guy sat opposite to me, seemingly new joinees in the company.

She wanted to go to Kagadaspura and had boarded our bus thinking that would take her somewhere close to her destination.

Nopes, the bus was heading to BTM and I don't know if she realised that Kagadaspura was hardly 2 km from office, but in the opposite direction in which we were heading!

Somebody in the bus suggested she take an auto instead of going on this round-trip.

"Hey.. no yaar.. I hv just 40 rupees.. I can't go in auto."

Her guy-friend Mr.X laughed at her statement.
Then somebody said she could get down at BEML gate and take a direct bus to K'pura; which sounded like a great idea for her, and for her purse.

It was raining hard. The guy and she chattered loudly for all of us to hear(and let me add, in that bugging manner which guys think characterise girls - "hey no yeahhhhhh... why yeahhhhhh...seeee yeeeaahhhh" types) about petty stuffs..

She : "How much does it take to office from ur place by bus"
He : "Hmm.. 7 rupees"
She : "Oh.. it takes 9 for me yaar." (How sad! 2 rupees more!)


Some more less-than-10-rupees-money-talks continue to the point of saturation of irritation for the other bus mates. The way the guy spoke had started getting on my nerves and I developed an instant hatred for him.

She : Why do you want to go to marathahalli today yaar... its raining.. (so concerned! duh!)
He : Those people have my jeans ready..should collect it today yaaaaarrrr..
She : (pleading) But its raiiiiininggg...
He : Ohh.. I love rains...
Me : (to myself)grrr..Shut up, will ya!
She : Do you have a cap?
He : Cap? Yeah... way back in Kolkota!
Me : SIGH!!!!

Fortunately, the bus had trudged close to BEML gate by then and I was happy that one of them would go away. Our Mr.X now started showing some fake-concerns for madam.

He : "Hey, you know how to go from here?"
She : "No, but he said I could get a bus from here".
He : "Hey.. in case you have any problem naaa... " (trails off)

I thought he was about to give her his number and ask her to make a call.

He continued "Go back to office and take the 9:30 cab..ok?"

And just when she was about to get down, he asked the next stupid question.

He : "Hey.. do u need some money??? If you want I can spare you 30 or 40 bucks, you know!"

And she looked so pathetic when she said "Yes, I need. Please give me.."
He drew out his wallet and out came many 100 rupee notes.. and he fumbled with them until the driver told madam to get down.

When she said "Ok..never mind" and was about to get down.. he promptly put his wallet back. Shameless!!!

By now everybody in the bus was feeling bad for madam. Some good guy in the bus screamed.. "Hey, take some money from me" My hands moved to my purse and I wanted to give her some money. And also some good piece of advice that there are working ATMs in office, that nobody comes to office on her first day with just Rs.40 in purse and that you should learn to let go of friends who not only refuse to help you when you need them but also add to your headache. And I wanted to tell the guy "You are the biggest jerk I have ever met! I can't understand what kind of a friend you are!". But I don't know why; I didn't do both.

The girl got out and walked in the rain. I don't know when she reached home.

I felt bad I didn't grab my purse and give her the money. I felt bad that I didn't scream at the guy. I felt bad that I didn't act.

How many times have we thought I would want to do this, but never did.. and the moment passes, leaving you in deep remorse?

What would you have wanted to do and what would you have done? Let me know :)