Madhur Bhandarkar's "The BugFix"

Aha! I caught your attention :) OK, there is no movie by that name (yet!) and I only wish he made an attempt at this one. I can guarantee that it is going to break all box office records till date and will run in packed halls for more days than witnessed by sholay and ddlj.



For a person who makes umpteen "realistic" movies, a request like this from an innocent software engineer would ideally be a cake-walk. And in the times of recession, it becomes the "need of the hour"!

So what can go into the making of the script? Suggestions welcome. I have come up with my own tiny list that Mr. Bhandarkar can refer to :)

1) Konkona Sen Sharma should be unanimously declared the protagonist. She should be a level-2 software engineer (not more than 3 years of experience)

2) The Protagonist should be a skilled software engineer, but struggling to find her spot in the company among other 50,000 employees.

3) Other trivial characters can include lots of hunk-kind machos, all preferably gays, one of which would be the protagonist's point of interest. Preferably, he is her module lead.

4) The plot revolves around Ms. Sharma where in she is given a complex bug to fix from her client and the schedule is, as expected, hard to meet :)

5) The journey she goes through in the effort to fix the bug, fighting adamant managers and project leads, plotting co-workers along with the tortures of cafeteria-served bad lunches and poor appraisals form the centre stage.

6) For a change, Mr Bhandarkar can introduce a twist at the end of the movie. As the deadline approaches for our heroine, she is still in the requirement analysis stage of the waterfall process and is at a loss as to what is to be done.
That is when there is a breaking news in one of the "popular" news channels about a major financial scam that has happened in her company, where in the MD is accused of performing the magic trick of vanishing crores of rupees into thin air.

7) The media from the Page#3 get their 5 minutes to fame too.

8) The future of the company is hanging precariously and the salaries are uncertain.

9) That is when our heroine fixes the bug against all odds in such a spectacular manner that the client is sooooo happy (clap!clap!clap!) that they decides to acquire the defamed company and save all the employees!

10) Title song by Sukhwinder Singh plays as the names of all employees scroll up the screen. "Bugfix ka he yeh jalwa...yeh jalwa..yeh jalwa.."

THE END.

PS - Quality Contributions to the plot by Sand. Thanks :)

While you were away..

The way I missed a step
slipped and fell
while I walked up the stairs
too busy texting on my cell

The way today's lunch tasted
with potatoes uncooked
And how we had to wait
for all the tables were booked

The way I caught
my cubicle mate dozing off
facing the screen saver
his monitor had switched off

I told you all this
And as always
you didn't respond.
Coz those were your ways.

And then I saw
your green button become orange
and saw it draw
hands of clock on them

Thats when I realised
much to my dismay
that I had typed
while you were away.

For the "2-minute-rukh-sakthe-hai" types!

Today I pay due respect to the omnipresent curly substance of our everyday life which comes in a bright yellow pack and which when added in boiling water and cooked for 2 minutes yields hot and nice-smelling dish called... yes, you guessed it right, Maggi Noodles:)

The popularity of the dish is obvious by the nature in which it finds its acceptance among all age groups in India. To think of it nobody calls it noodles, or even Maggi Noodles, its called just Maggi!! In this light, it can be compared to the success that Xerox achieved in the world of printing and copying. These days nobody looks for a 'photo copy' or a 'copier', instead you ask the guy at the STD/ISD shop to "take a xerox" of the page, and when moved closer towards South-eastern side of India, its apt to "take a jeraaaks".

So going by the trends and calling it by its pet name we see that Maggi is so powerful yet versatile that it becomes break-fast when eaten at 8, lunch when eaten at 1, snacks(!!) when eaten at 5 and dinner when eaten at 9. Its like this wonderful-dream-come-true operating system which never cribs and can never go wrong whatever way you use it! And what more, with Maggi by your side the Indian Constitution prevents you from declaring that you don't know cooking! It comes in handy when your cooking qualifications are subjected to scrutiny during "interviews". " So what can you cook?" "Err...I can make tea, coffee...uhhmm...and yes, Maggi :)". The impression is favourable, trust me. You will clear the "interview"!

On one hand as Maggi fan-followers grow in numbers in social networking fan clubs and babies ponder switching from Ceralac to Maggi, its only natural that the number of nasty e-mails circulating "gossips" about Lady Maggi also shoots high, call it the effect of celebrity status!

According to them Maggi's "goooey texture" is made of boiled udders of goats and sheeps, and the magic powder inside those silver sachets contain the worst of chemicals, enough to make all moms in India go panicky and ban the food in home. Not funny. I was a victim.

But Maggi's fans are the most loyal ones on earth. They strive harder and harder to optimize the 2-mins cooking even more. Some revelations in this regard can be found by googling for it. To get you curious, did you know that you needn't really cook it on fire for 2 mins?? You could just add it into boiling water and close the lid just like you would make the easier cup-noodles! :)

I can't help but smile when I see tiny toddlers watching their mom draw out a packet of maggi from the shelves in the super market and pat comes the question "Mommy, when are you making me Maggi?" :)



Long live Maggi, the crucial life-saver of bad cooks, bachelors, lazy couples and many others!!

PS - Analysis of the effects of Maggi in the lives of Software Engineer couples has been avoided on purpose :D

Love in the times of Recession :)

Matters of the heart is facing a setback, and for all those who care, those impromptu gifts might show up late this year or probably early next year.

For now, its the age-old tried-and-tested love statements that might do the job :)
Here goes, a bunch a roses and a heart felt wish.
"Happy Anniversary! You make a great hubby! I love you!!" :)

Plant a Thought.

I am smitten by a new hobby. Gardening.

Two pretty white flowers bloomed in the balcony of the apartment opposite ours. Like all other infatuations of a woman, this also was triggered by a "neighbour's-envy-owner's-pride" case. I don't know anything about rearing a plant, but I wanted a plant as well, at any cost!!!!

From the time I remember, I have never been too involved in making a garden. One among the handful of incidents was when we planted a sapling on vanamahotsava day in school and I have no clue what happened to it later. Watching mom "waste" an entire Sunday forenoon session digging up the soil and cutting plants and soiling her clothes and slippers was what gardening meant for me! And I didnt fancy doing all that and getting dirty!

But never mind the past. This weekend, 4 people whose total Gardening Quotient (GQ) didn't exceed 20 found a nursery where we could get saplings. "finding a nursery" was another long story since nobody was sure if the nursery my hubby dear used to see on his way to school 15 years ago still exist or not and after much speculation and help from shop keepers and confused strangers on the roads, we found that it did exist!

We were welcomed by a 45-50-looking man wearing a lungi and shirt. There was a whole bunch of plants to choose from, I noticed!
Me : "Oru chedi venam" (We want a plant)
He : (a little surprised with my innocent request) ok..
Me : (Smile and stand, coz I can't explain anything more!)
He : (Smile and stand, coz he can't help me unless I speak more!)

After a few minutes of agonizing silence for the 3 people who accompanied me, I cleared my throat and attempted to explain what I was looking for..
"ee apartmentile balcony-il vekkaan oru chedi venam. Chedi valuthaavaruthu. Poo okke venam. Valya kashttapaadonnumillaathe poo undaakanam. Anganathe ethu chediya nallathu?"(I want a plant that I can keep in the balcony of my apartment. It shouldn't grow. It should have a lot of flowers. Without too much of effort from my end, it should bloom. Which plant should I take?)

Obviously, he didnt like my requirements! So he didnt answer my question, but motioned me to take a look at the plants in the nursery.

I would point to each plant and ask the same question "itu valuthaakuo?" (Will this grow?) and after committing a few mistakes by replying with a "ohhh...nallonam valarum" (yes, it will grow really well), to which I responded "ohh..enna venda" (is it? then I dont want it) he strategically started answering with "illa, valare slow growth-a.. 4 years edukkum" (its got a very slow growth, takes 4 years to grow even a little). Hmm..smart!

Soon the 4 of us dispersed to four different directions that the confused gardener lost track of us! The impression that he had of us when we walked in smiling was probably all washed out, for he was seen scratching his head and wondering if we would leave him free and get lost! He would never have seen so many fools in one frame!

Finally we narrowed on a few pots of marigold and daisy-like flowers. 20 rupees each was a big deal, I thought. In Bangalore, this would cost me atleast 60 or 70!

4 faces looked carefully at the marigold pots.
FIL : "Itinu valam okke engana?" (What do we add as manure?)
He : "Chanaga podi ittal mati" (You can add cow-dung)
chorus : "CHANAGAMO???? Atonnum kittilla avde!" (COW-DUNG?? We don't get that in Bangalore!)
He : "Jaiva valam.ellu podi aaylum mati" (any bio-manure. you can add crushed bones also)
me : as if that is easy!

Then there was this discussion on how to re-plant it once we go home, how many times to water, how much to water, how to take it in car and many more how-tos and we were done. Marigolds, it was! In another 10 minutes, we walked out, each with a marigold pot in hand.

A 10 hour long tiring journey in car and here they are, my marigolds and daisy-like plants, dropping dead in my balcony. Sigh! But I do want them to bloom!

"I told you so"

I look at myself in the mirror
And I tug at my cut mane
Shouldn't have done it so short
And you stroke them and say
"I told you so"

I try to fix my broken doll
glue smeared all around
Oops, my fingers are glued
And you look at them and say
"I told you so"

The brand new pink tees
lay untouched there
It makes me look so short
And you smile and say
"I told you so"

I toast the bread
A little more than usual
Burnt bread for b-fast.
Yet you have them and say
"I told you so"

I guess I never learn
from the mistakes I make.
For I love the way
You hug me and say
"I told you so"

Friday Fun 'and all'.. :)

Saw it on a mailing list today.
I fell off my chair reading, re-reading, re-re-reading :)))



Three cheers to 'Indian English' :D

Past, Present and Future Tag ..

Tagged by Gasper !

In fact, I thought I would do only a portion of the tag, The yesterday, Part A alone and make it into a post. But then I decided to play fair and take up the entire thing :)

But I will definitely add a new post just for that section in my next post :)


The tag:

Two questions in each category answer them and then tag your friends from the blog-o-sphere.

(Simple enough right?)

Leave a comment on their blog letting them know they have been tagged and you are all set.

I. Yesterday

A. Your oldest memories

Aged around 3 - Bro left for school, and I got bored at home!

1) Watching and waving at people on the road for 3 hours in the morning, over the compund wall. It was a complicated process. I wear my "blue-n-white hawai slippers", and to reach the wall, I needed to stand on my right leg on the remains of a cut tree. My left leg would be wrapped around my right one. In due course of time, my parents discovered a mysterious hole appearing within 2 weeks of having bought the slippers, and interestingly, only on the right slippers, of every new pair :))
2) Waiting for "orange", the man who used to sell oranges. When he came near our gate, he calls would get extra louder "Waaaaaoooorangeyyyy". Dad used to get one for me every day :)

3) Looking for hours at the Monalisa painting hung on the wall at home and telling everybody that its Mommy's picture :) Well, I was damn sure it was.. :)

4) Mannu theetta :)) Yep.. its too embarassing! But I used to love eating the soil!
This is aged around 2! Mom would come running in panic the moment she hears this call "Mommmmyyyyyyyyyyy..... Sooryaaaaaaaa....... mannnnnnnuuuuuu...... thinnunoooooooo". If she reaches before the word "mannnuuuu" ends, she spanks me on my hand, if late by a word, she has to dig her fingers into my mouth!

5) Dad forcing a bulls-eye into my mouth and me screaming the world out! Ammamma
looking pathetically at me. PJ enjoying his bulls-eye at the dining table. In fact, playing with it by gently jiggling the gooooey yellow centre. An hour after the ordeal, I puke on the sofa as a mark of truimph :D The first and last bulls-eye I ever had!


Aged 4-5.

6) Getting ready to school. Holding dad's index finger with all my fives and crossing the road.

7) Fights with Dhanya to get "side-seat" in bus :)

8) PJ cutting characters out from my new UKG english work book and making shadow-puppets!!!!!!! And me crying.

9) All the "Chess Championships" with PJ and Gouthu etta, with my "exterptise in
defence", a single game would go for a whole day!!!!! Then I would lose with Gouthu etta, and I would cry! Finally ammamma would play with me (she doesnt know how to, but I didnt know it then) and lose , just to make me happy about my "bronze medal" :)

10) Dahlia teacher beating me up in UKG, for talking in the class. My legs were pink, with marks of the cane, but I can't believe, I didnt cry at all!

11) Proudly singing "vara veena" for english oral test in UKG, when asked to sing
"any rhyme". This option was given after I admitted I didnt know "Johnny Johnny" and "Little Miss Muffet"! Maggie teacher complained to bro. Complaint being "your sister doesnt know any rhyme. Why is she so dumb when you are so bright!" :-S

Aged 6

12) Enter KVK, the best times I have ever had. Scoring 100% in all subjects in 1st
Std and surprising my mom. My mom had lost hope in me in terms of studies after the "vara veena" incident!

13) First steps into painting. Drawing the yellow-n-orange lil bird in every page my
rough book :) (Rough sketch on MS Paint)
A year later, PJ used to make me draw one painting every day after I am back from school and only then let me go out to play! He would carefully stack the sheets and keep it safe somewhere. I wonder where they are now! :)

Aged 7-8

14) PJ watching UGC programs on Doordarshan!! There would be this guy who has a neat
handwriting. He would draw different kind of triangles with a black marker pen and write some stuff. PJ in rapt attention. Make a small noise, and you are dead meat in his hands! :)

15) First books... sifting through "The Three Bears".. reading "When Daddy was a
little boy" for the 100th time... Sunny's Stories from Muthacha's collection...Biju mama getting us books each time he came to see us...


Well..ending here :) Will continue in a new post :)


B. What were you doing ten years ago?


1) In 9th std in KVK. Busy with Social Science Projects... we had made a model of the Apsara reachtor at BARC.

2) The VMS(Vaish-Malu-Soo) club in full swing! Science experiments done in Vaish's
house. "Making bacteria".. looking through her microscope at ants..small stuffs.. :)) our hugely successful VMS lending library business and selling hand-made greeting cards and book marks to friends and family and spending all the money :))

3) Made papier-mache with atta, maida and news papers and stowed it under Vaish's bed and forgot about it. Vaish's mom detected some very very very bad smell in her room, but never knew what it was! Even we didnt realise, until the maid pulled the stuff out from under the bed and ohhh mannnn... :(

4) Mills and Boon... more Mills and Boon :) Followed by crushes..crushes...more
crushes;)

5) Table tennis tournies and walk-outs :)))


II. Today

A. Your first thought in the morning

Trrring...Tringgg...alarm goes off at 6:45.
My mobile calendar showed an event : Corporate Anniv.
Today, I complete 3 years in the industry :)


B. If you build a time capsule what would it contain?

1) It would contain all my diaries I have maintained in my teens. I would want my daughter(when I have one :)) to read them when she goes through the same age as I was when I wrote them.

2) Few of my fave clothes. Just want to look at them later and think how small I was :)

3) Some special e-mails, threads, chat logs exchanged between me and you-know-who :), to read them later on and to make my day


III. Tomorrow

A. This year…

Is almost done.. am not looking forward to anything great till dec..

B. What do you see yourself doing 14 years from now?

I would be 39 years old!!! I would be seen packing lunch boxes, hurrying through the
daily routines and running for my cab (yeah, I am sure I wouldnt have perfected the art of driving a car even then!) to take me to office. I would probably be checking my gmail.. gmail would have some really great features... and well... would be a happy female for sure
:)

I tag.. nobody in particular. If it fascinates you, take it up:)

Oru dubai-kaarde "dream house"..

Disclaimers : It goes without saying that in a narration so close to real-life as this all characters are fictitious :) Any and every resemblance of the characters to your NRI neighbour is purely coincidental.


Now that I am safe, let me start the narration..


Our auto roared its way on the stony road throwing us left and right, as if in a ketchup bottle! We hung on to dear lives until we saw the wrought iron gates looming big and the auto slowed down and stopped abruptly.


Mom and I got out, feeling like a packet of bones.


Me : "Ethraayi?" (How much is it?)

Auto driver : 15 rupees.

Me : "15 rupees? Nammal keralam kadannillallo atinu!" (We have not gone as far as crossing the Kerala border!)

Auto driver : "Ingane oru road-inde attathu kondu aarelum veedu vekkyo! itil odikkaan 15 rupees pora!" (Who will build a house at the other end of such a road! I should have asked for more that 15 rupees!)

Me : :D atu correct-a chetta!!! (That's correct bro! Note: The safest way to address any TDH here is 'chetta')


Having found a third person to blame, I handed over the Rs 20 note and took the change back from him. The auto driver took a look at the mansion behind the gate and murmuring something under his breath started the auto and roared away.


Sheela aunty,with a (well-practiced)pleasant smile greeted us at the door,err..door..we will call it yet-another-huge-gate. From the slippers strewn all around the car porch, I guessed there would be at least 300 people inside the house!


Sheela aunty serenaded across the airy living room, the pallu of her kancheepuram sari flowing lightly in the air. There, I saw Sreedharan uncle smiling at us, his gold-rimmed glasses sparkling under the crystal chandelier.


"Varu...veedu kaanichu taraam" said Sheela aunty. (Come, I will show you around the house)


Through out the "tour", I was too spellbound to speak a word! The house was like a palace! Sheela aunty was talking non-stop, going by the details of it all.


"Italian marbles thanne venam flooring ennu enikku nirbhandham undaayirunnu...Bedroomil wood panelingum.." (I wasnt ready to settle for anything less than Italian marbles for flooring and wood paneling for bedrooms).


"Sree ettanum njanum koode last time vannathu thanne bathroom-il tiles select cheyyanaayirunnu.." (Sree ettan and I had come to India last time just to choose the tiles for our bathroom)


"Shooo...Geethey...ee veedu pani kaaranam mathiyaayinnu thanne parayallo..!" (Geetha, I must admit I am exhausted running behind this construction work!)


Mom was nodding sympathetically after every line and chirping the same sentence after each of Sheela's aunty's woe-filled sentences "Pakshe Sheela, nannaayittundu ellaam!" (But Sheela, everything looks great!)


When mom thought she might require an aspirin soon, she made a mild remark "Sheela thaazhe pokko..aalkkaarokke vannittundaakum. njangal kandolaam veedu" (Sheela, You go down and receive the guests, we'll go around ourselves)


I felt this was one among the top 10 great things mom had done in last 10 years and deserved an Award for Timely Action!


Mom and I moved from room to room..each one looked a thousand times more beautiful than the previous one.

Me :"Ethra chilavaakki kaanum mommy?" (How much have they spent?)

Mom :"Oru 70-75 lakhs ennaanu paranjey...kettille??" (Around 70-75 laksh..didnt you hear when she said?)


Mom at some point : "Itaano Ja-koo-zee??Angane alle?" (Is this Jacuzzi, did I say it right?) with an obvious effort in her voice to frame the foreign word for her by fetching 3 random pieces from her vocabulary.


"Yo, lathu thaan" (Yes, it is) answered the smart me!


After having a heated discussion over if they would use all this, with mom saying they wouldn't use any and me arguing who wouldn't use it after paying from their nose, we came down stairs.


Still spellbound, I rarely recollect what the menu was. But yeah, an embarrassingly looong burp was heard from many around.


Having bid goodbye to Sheela aunty and complimenting her on her "dream home" (that is what she called it), we took an auto back home with me echoing "allelum dubaikkaarkku entha...kore kaashundallo!" (the dubai NRIs are always filthy rich!)


A week later, back at work, during one of our long telephone conversations I asked if Sheela aunty has settled in her "dream house". Mom replied "Avaru enne thirichu poyi...avide ippo randu watchman-um naalu pattikalum kaaval undu" (They left for Dubai long back. There are 2 watchmen and 4 dogs to guard the house now).


Bottom line : "Ee yogam ennoke parayanatil vallllya artham undu tto!" (No no...a translation here would never live up to its original!! Sorry!)

Bru kaapi and Marie Biscuit

If you are a huge fan of chai-biskut, then you should be trying the bru-kaapi-marie-biscuit also!! Am sure you would love it!

Imagine this... You tear open a pack of Britannia Marie and find that its the best pack you have ever laid your hands on. The biscuits are perfectly aligned and held tight against the cover. You notice that the vulnerably delicate edges of the biscuits are still intact and there is not a sign of rough-handling by the super market boys. No powdered heaps of biscuits between two slices and all is perfect...oh great!!!


You hum a tune to yourself and make a cup of bru kaapi and pour it into a larger-than-usual-brightly-painted-yellow-and-white coffee mug to its brim. Leaving a trail of aroma as you rush to the dining table, the coffee mug is placed gently on the straw mat and you take the first of the marie biscuits from the pack.

After giving it a long look and having "tested OK" you gently dip it into the coffee. The mug is wide enough to let you dip the biscuit until only half of it is seen outside. And being an expert, you know to the precision of milli seconds as to how long you should keep it dipped so that it is as soft as possible, yet not flabby and dripping! A fraction of a second here and there, and you will either end up with a hard crust in your mouth or an unobtainable lump of soggy biscuit in the bottom of the coffee mug.

Instinct says its time to lift up the biscuit from the coffee. And the moment it is out, there is no time to waste. You immedietely let the soaked half of the biscuit crumble inside your month, warm and soft and along with it some crust from the other dry half as well. Hmmm.... heavenly!!!! :)) Enjoy your cup today!


PS - I got a lovely pic from flickr for this post... but with issues of copyright and stuff and moreover, it being tea rather than coffee, I rather take my own one soon. If it comes well, I shall post :)

Music Tag from Aishu!

I flicked this from Aish's blog, which she flicked from another blog :)

And the rules go thus..

Rules:
1. Put your MP3 player/Media player on shuffle
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. You must write the name of the song no matter what.

Start playing!!!

IF SOMEONE SAYS "IS THIS OKAY?" YOU SAY?

Neelay Neelay ambar par chand jab aaye.

WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?

Tumse milke aisa laga ..tumse milke..armaan huye poore dil ke :)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?

Nazrein milaana...Nazrein churaana..Kahin pe nigaahein Kahin pe Nishaana ;-)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?

Race is on my mind, Race is in my Soul, Race is in my life, My heart is racing on :-p

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?

Ye..Tumhari meri baatein.. Hamesha uhi chalthi rahe :)

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?

Halka Halka sa yeh Nashaa...Behka Behka sa ye samaa aa jaana !!!

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?

In lamho ke daaman mein pakeeza se rishtey hai

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR PARENTS?

Ai Paapi Ai, Ai Pappi Ai Pappi Ai, Ai Pappi,Ai Pappi Ai :-p :-p

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?

Zara Zara touch me touch me????!!!! Oh gosh!! :-p

WHAT IS 2+2?

Meri zindagi mein aaye ..

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?

Chalo....tumko lekar chale...

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Chookar mere mann ko :)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?

Somewhere out there I know there is someone whoz waiting just for me Mahiya ;-)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?

Meri laundra ka ek bill!!!!!!

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?

Tere bina zindagi se koyi shikwaa..

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?

Tum ho Toh gaata he dil Tum nahin to geet kahaan!! :)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?

Na hai yeh pana.. Na khona he hai...Tera na hona, jaane..Kyun hona he hai

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?

Kabhi kabhi aditi zindagi mein yu hi koyi apna lagtha hai..kabhi kabhi aditi woh bijhad jaaye to ek sapna lagtha hai!

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?

Rock On...he ye waqt ka ishaara... Rock on...har lamha pukaaraa!!!

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?

Lucky Boy...U r my lucky boy...jaane kaun banega mera luckyo boy :-p

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?

Parde ke peeeche...

WHAT SHOULD YOU POST THIS AS?

Ae Ajnabi.. :)

Kannada maathadi...!

Of late, I have been trying my bestest of my best to speak one line of proper kannada. It was quite embarrassing to admit that three years of staying in Bangalore hasn't brought me any closer to the language and my Kannada vocab was still constant with 1 word - the ubiquitous "maadi".

And to rub salt to the wounds, hubby dear has this penchant for showing off his 3-month-classroom -educated-80%-marks Kannada in front me while he spoke to auto drivers, plumbers and others. And am sure his trademarked "right tagoli" is used on auto drivers ONLY in my presence. And he very well knows, my quirky ears would stand up and my next question would be "Hey...what did you say just now? What does it mean?" followed by a wow-you-are-great exclamations and hushed gasps and widened eyes as he basks in the glory.

So hudugi here decided it was high time she did something about this. And the FM channels here probably felt the same, so they switched to sikkapatte kannada and swalpa-est hindi.


So terribly sikkapatte it was that hudugi here was heard humming only kannada songs for a few months and whenever a familiar kannada song was aired on FM while in car with hubby dear, hudugi would not just increase the volume but also sing aloud until hubby dear cries for mercy!

Soon, the office cab occupants unanimously decided to switch to another FM channel which had kanglish as medium of communication, and hence easier to pick up! So kannada songs got reduced. It was good bye to "Jinka Marina" which used to be recited like a prayer thrice a day.

Now hudugi listens to ads and RJs and picks up few kannada words. SMS sent to hubby dear is mostly in Kannada, and mostly the contents remain unaltered. I ping him every now and then as if he is a BMTC volvo bus with a "yelli idhire" sms, which happens to be the only completely correct kannada sentence I am proud to have mastered.

The learning curve has been pathetic all this while, or at least hubby dear makes me think so, for whichever way I put a sentence, he says those words don't even exist in the language!! And yeah, considering the similarity among South Indian languages, I do sometimes take a slightly greater advantage of it than what is necessary, the reason for all the "non-existent" words.

But nevertheless, the effort continues :) If you try to poke fun at me,nin kudumbana aanandikku aarogyakku, Mane hogu! (My own way of saying "Get lost" or in pure mallu-style "Go to your classes" ;))

The story of a Kissan Jam Bottle

Am not feeling well today. I have a runny nose, fever and an aching body to give company all day long. The dull aches that sinusitis gives my face only adds to my misery.

Took an off from work today lest the AC worsens my situation.

Catching a cold means the end of the world for me. I become as irritating as a 5 yr old refusing to go to school. Having hubby also not around makes you feel all the more sick.

To cheer up, I looked in the cupboards to see if there was anything interesting. Some books, my old jeans which do not fit any more, some crockery, some bulbs...hmm..bulbs..thats interesting. I rummaged and found 4 of them, all in proper working condition.

Immediately enquired Google if there was anything I could do with a used bulb. They said I could make glitter bulbs. But it involved lot of technical uncertainties. The ones I had were working ones and if I did what they told, hubby dear wouldn't be pleased to see 4 good condition bulbs become glitter pots.

But nevertheless, I read through and found it pretty good. I managed to find a Kissan Jam bottle from kitchen and did the same thing. See ->






To do this, you would need

1) A glass bottle
2) Glass paints of any colour (I used Sunset Yellow)
3) Glitter or any small-tiny-decorative stuffs. I used the "springy-gold-coils" I got along with the Tanjore painting kit.
4) err... Thats it.. and a small amount of patience :)


How to do:

Pour in a generous amount of glass paints into the bottle. I used about 20 drops.

Keep rolling the bottle so that the paint spreads evenly around the bottle. Take care otherwise you might end up with thick coats on one side and thin on the other.

Once done, invert the bottle and place a glass beneath to collect the excess paint from the jar.Keep it for a good 15 minutes.

Wipe the mouth of the bottle with a tissue.

Now, sprinkle glitter or anything that catches your fancy and shake the bottle so that they get stuck on the edges.

If the paint looks wet, dry it with a hair-dryer.

Use a colourful ribbon to cover the mouth of the jar. (I didn't do this)

Your little flower-vase is ready!

One more tag - A photo tag

This is the 2nd consecutive one on tags, but I couldn't just helping picking this tag form another blog :)

And this one is easy!

All I had to do was

1. Type your answer to each of the questions below into Flickr Search.
2. Using only the first page, pick an image.
3. Copy and paste each of the URLs for the images into fd’s mosaic maker.



And the Questions and my answers to them are :

1. What is your first name?
Soorya. I cheated and got this from the 2nd page :-p

2. What is your favorite food? Right now?
Kappa and meen :( I miss it!!!!

3. What high school did you go to?
Kendriya Vidyalaya. Didn't find any pic of the kanjikode KV, so picked up KV DRDO one :)

4. What is your favorite color?
Red..red...red...

5. Who is your celebrity crush?
Imraan Khan :) Hez so chocolatey, but nevertheless good :D

6. Favorite drink?
Bru kaapi :)

7. Dream vacation?
The Jungfrau.

8. Favorite dessert?
Black forest!!!!!!!!!!!!

9. What do you want to be when you grow up?
A genius :-p ..I love the pic I got!!!

10. What do you love most in life?
Love!!! (Man, am so 'senti'fically romantic)

11. One Word to describe you.
Always Smiling! Check the cutie pic I found!

12. Your flickr name.
Don't have a flickr name...so a None. :)

And yes, if you like the tag, then samjho I tagged you :)

PS - Ok, I promise I won't do another tag in the next two posts!

The Octal Revelations!

Am Tagged by SilenceKilled!!!

Here goes my confessions.. :(

8 Things I’m passionate about:

- My views, my freedom
- Love, smile and fun
- Safety of Loved-ones
- Home sweet home
- Weeekends!!
- My cook-book!
- My job :D
- Holidaying

8 Things I want to do before I die:

- Bungee jump!
- Make people smile
- Proudly own and drive a BIG SUV :)
- Travel Europe :)
- Live life without regrets
- Punch on the face of Mr A, Miss B, Mr C, Mr X, Mrs Y ...blah blah.. ;)
- Learn something totally new, like a new language.
- Build a house designed by me :)

8 Things I say often:

- Its a Friday!!!!!
- Am sooooo hungry.. lets order pizza for dinner :)
- I'll surely go to the gym tomorrow... today am not well :)
- Will you please pick me from office dear?
- I'll be late today.
- Listen, there is a 50% off sale going on in ... ;)
- The brought-to-you-bai-style "Itne paise me itna hi milega" :)
- Hahahahhahahehehheheheheh (I laugh too much sometimes!)
- When are you coming to Bangalore next mommy? :-p


8 Books I last read:

- Have this "100 Best Stories of O Henry" on my bed-side table. Will each story be counted as one

book ? :-p

8 songs I could listen to over and over again:

- I knew I loved you before I met you (MLTR)
- Sound of Silence (Simon & Garfunkel)
- Dil hoom hoom kare (Rudali)
- Any of the good ol' Tarken songs :)
- Ae Ajnabi (Dil se)
- Suhani raat dhal chuki (Dulari)
- Jalthe hai jiske liye (Sujata)
- Kahin door jab din dhal jaaye (Anand)


8 bloggers who should do this tag:

- Aishu
- Gasper
- Rat
- Sand
- Geo
- Vaish
- Vaisakh
- Harry

Walking along the Jews Street...

"Jews Street", said the white letters on the bright green board. I read it aloud in my mind again and again.. there was a rustic charm in even the name, I thought.

Probably I must have stood there and mused for a few abnormally long minutes, for I had to run to catch up with the others who had already walked a few feet ahead
by now.



Tip-toeing on the wet pavement with quick short steps lest I wet the only jeans I had packed for my weekend trip, my eyes traced the all the little bric-a-bracs in the dimly lit curios shops lining either side of the narrow pavement.

There had been a light drizzle just a few minutes ago and people were hurrying up with coloured umbrellas, gently clashing against each other as they made their way in opposite directions.

My eyes were still hungrily scanning the curios shops. I wasn't looking for anything in particular.. the sight was a feast for my eyes.

The huge hand-blown glass lamps in unimaginably bright shades of shocking pinks, bottle greens, deep blues and placid browns with ornate brass filigree, the exquisite beligian glass chandeliers, hand-painted ivory tiles with intricate designs in blue, the delicately done cross-stitch napkins all were a story in itself, of a bygone era of riches.. a bygone era, now easily price-tagged and sold as "anitques".

An old Jewish lady sat in one of the shops, soft yellow light casting a warm glow on her creme gown draping her frail body, as she fiddled with a piece of white cloth, coaxing her aged eyes to get the stitches right, in vain. The now sunken eyes still had a warmth in them, the same warmth familiar to every grand-child on earth.

I walked past more shops lining the roads, to reach the synagogue at the other end, standing silently and seemingly reluctanct to communicate, for whoever comes these days speak a foreign tongue, except for the few others like the grandma in creme gown who sat there coaxing her aged eyes to get the stitches right, in vain..

...................................................

PS: Pics will come soon :)
[Edited] : Pic added!

On School Annual Days...

Right through my school days, the Annual Day was probably the day I always looked forward to the most, year after year!

Was it the excitement of performing on the stage, in front of beaming parents, or the anxious wait to get your prize for co-curricular activities(CCA), or the thrill of bunking class for practice... I know not what, but I always had a hard time sleeping on the eve of the D-day, my little heart thumping loud with excitement!


The memories are still fresh.. I can still see me in white-n-white singing the group song "Kadam se kadam, milake chalo" in IL auditorium as a 6 year old. The next year was an action song, with all the 30 of us dressed as Nehru!!! We had all got our kurtas stitched and wore a red satin pundit ji coat with a gulab pinned on it! The year after that was another action song with me doing a "koyal"!!! A black kurta-pyjama with a pair of black wings made by the teachers and a black beak which I had made it myself of which I was toooo proud! I can imagine how silly I would have looked by the expression of the chief guest when she gave me my prize. She was smiling ear-to-ear in the photograph, handing over the prize to a cuckoo!!!

Having advanced to more "human-like" attires for the next few years was a welcome change, for, people could now spot me on stage with ease :)

But even then, the feeling was all the same. The day usually starts early with all of the "participants" (boy, that was a privileged section!) coming to the town hall where the function would be held. There would be stage rehearsals again and again while the ones free for the time would go around exploring the town hall, playing hide-n-seek and what not!

And come 4:30, the early birds would be there, occupying seats..Meanwhile the "participants" get dressed in the green room. As the make-up artist paints your face, you hold your breath for the fear of smearing the lip stick while you peek out of the corner of your eyes and try to make out if you are looking fine from the expressions of your friends who are watching you in earnest! The patience you exhibit is amazing and the moment the artist mutters a "hmmm" indicating he is done, you grab the mirror to check if you look good! And most of the times you will look sick and go and complain to the teacher in charge. She would pat your cheek and say no, you are looking great! And that helps!!


Once done, you are seen wandering back stage, meeting other friends and playing teh guess-who games with them, for you never recognize each other! And by 6 the hall is jam packed. And then the agonizing wait for the chief guest's speech to get over, followed by princi's annual report, blah-blah-blah.. meanwhile you are all queued up back stage with your badge number. In your 10th or 12th, you would be at the tail end! And somehow dad and mom would come and meet us here, hand over a pack of biscuits may be and say "Enda oru vesham!!" (What a dress!!!) with an expression that will prompt you to take a hanky and remove the excess lip stick!

The prize distribution ceremony gets over in a jiffy and you don't even have time to check what book you got as prize! We gotta run for the last practice! Time flies the fastest during that time and you would be seen standing back stage, looking at your other friends performing and you wait, for your group is the next.

As you listen to the mic throwing echoes around, as you vaguely make out the occupants of the first row against the glaring lights, as you hear your ma'am saying "boys and girls...do your best!" , and as you play that long dialog where you always made mistakes again and again in your mind, you can hear your heart is racing, and probably of the guy standing next to you too! Probably he has heard yours too, for he is looking at you and grinning. And then you notice that the curtains are falling... and the people on stage are going away... Your heart has almost stopped beating now!!! The lights go off and the curtains are down. You hear a voice "C'mon..lets go!"..somebody screams a "All the best guys!" and you softly walk on the wooden stage...take your position... curtains up..lights on... and you give your bestest smile to the audience to start with!!!


Rest can come in another episode!

Wandering Thoughts from a Frustrated Programmer..

One linker error is no better than 3 page-full of linker errors. In fact, it could be worse. You are very likely to spend 30 mins solving 3 page full of linker errors whereas you would realise you have been staring this lone stubborn linker error for almost a week now and it has not progressed an inch from where it is now.

For the whole of that week you would be seen talking about nothing but that particularly impish __symbol. Sometimes, when the deadlines have turned the corner, you would start seeing underscores in your dreams as well :)

And exactly during that time Google will call it quits and declare you an idiot after its million-th attempt at enquiring if you really meant what you typed on the search bar or "did you mean this-slightly-modified-yet-totally-unrelated-word" instead? After all, google knows that to err is humane!

You try changing the code in all possible way Mr Trusted-Lots-of-stars-guy on that forum suggests. You even post a few queries here and there and keep refreshing the page to see if the same Mr Trusted-Lots-of-stars-guy has replied and when he does reply, he says whatever we asked sounds really strange to anybody living on earth and he would need to see the entire thing for it and suggests something which you have already read in many other forums and which would not work for sure!

With Mr stars also giving up, you are left alone. Well, not exactly, alone. You are left with few more days for the deadline, somebody to drill down this fact every hour into your brains and this sole linker error. Back to square one, rather Square -20, coz you have already wasted 20 long days for this!

Happy Linking! :)

PS - All characters(integers and floats as well) in this post are fictitious.Any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental. And 'You' is not me. 'You' is you. And if you thought 'You' is not you, then you spoke too soon. Your day will come soon :)

10 tickets to my Good Books!

1) Mr/Ms Really Intelligent : People who can speak in depth about not-so-common topics in so simple a words yet with so much of clarity that they can leave me open-mouthed! I have felt that to me intelligence is more than saying "yeah, i know it and i can explain if u want". It lies in HOW you explain.

Came to think of it, this was a question during an interview in Google.
- Explain a database in three sentences to your eight-year-old nephew :)
And somebody posted a reply in 2 lines "It's like a genie who knows where every toy in your room is. Instead of hunting for certain toys yourself and searching the whole room, you can ask the genie to find all your toy soldiers, or only X-Men action figures, or only race cars -- anything you want."

And I loved it :)

2) Mr/Ms Cool n Smiling : These people slip into my good books very easily.I adore people who can remain as cool as a cucumber even when there is chaos! They don't panic and their minds are in perfect equilibrium to make good decisions that nobody will repent! Just how do they do it!!! As for the smile part, :)

3) Mr/Ms Nice-Writer/Book worm : Been ages since I read something now, and I maintain a very ordinary looking blog.So when I meet people who have read a lot, I am more than happy to hear them speak. Same with people who have honed their writing skills to come up with intriguing stories, sweet-nothings packed in beautiful expressions. Short story contest winners earn special respect :)

4) Mr/Ms Up-to-date : They get all the facts and figures right. They know whats happening around the world, they know whats new in technology, they know all the news around the world!

5) Mr/Ms Humble :
They know they are great. Others know they are great. They know others know they are great. But still they don't show-off the fact that they are great.

6) Mr/Ms Birthday Rememberers : People who remember your birthday and wish you (without using reminders in mobiles/calendars) are a rare species of people whom I consider are the warmest and the most genuine of spotlessly clean hearts!!

7) Mr/Ms PJ Crackers : Sounds cheesy. But I do adore them for all their rotten PJs!! I just can't help liking their PJs :) There is one lady I know who cracks really really really bad PJs ...
and sometimes I have actually wished I could crack such rotten ones like she does :))

8) Mr/Ms Kids Lovers : They, like Birthday Rememberers, are a special lot who are always assumed to be good at heart, loving and affectionate!

9) Mr/Ms Great Cooks : Man, this one might be on the top if I arranged it on a proper scale! Rightly said the way to a man's (or woman's, these days) heart is through his (her) stomach!

10) Mr/Ms Punctual : I hate to be made to wait for someone. I hate it if the person rushes in 30 minutes late and gives a lame excuse and says sorry and expects me to say "Its ok." Probably I am one such person and I know how it irritates others! Probably thats why I love people who are well on time :)

No Title

I was awake for another 2 hours after the movie ended even though it was around 1 am. It had surely left a bad taste.

Well, it was neither any of those scary movies having disturbingly long spells of silence, when you know that any moment something can make you scream (remember Psycho series!) nor was it any kind of movie which disturbed you so much with its theme/story line that it keeps coming back in flashes for a few days(reminds me of deshadanam which was hard to get out of mind!)

This was a very very ordinary and fit to be easily nominated as a crap mallu movie which typically qualifies to be aired on one of those volvo/semi sleeper buses to Kerala. Forget the name, cast, even the story-line for that matter, coz they not worth enough to be discussed on a blog, and that too on my blog where I have never discussed movie reviews! But forgetting the story-line would mean my post lost a part of its content and reference, so lets keep it referenced, but brief :)

The movie is all about glorifying the "an eye for an eye a tooth for a tooth" principle (like any other mallu movie classified generously as "action movie".duh!). So completely drenched in human blood that the movie overlooks capturing anything remotely real!

The movie has a local tamil leader(obviously a goonda, there has never been a good tamil leader in mallu movies!) who kills people at his whims and fancies. He cuts arms, uses swords,sticks to make people spit buckets of blood from the mouth as if they have 1 litre of blood packet in their mouths ready to be broken the moment villain hits their throat. Our hero's dad also was a victim.

Hero comes back to sell the house bought by his dad which happens to be in the same kingdom of the goonda. Now hero and goonda spit more blood, cut more arms, legs, heads... again buckets of blood..and then one of them dies (no points for guessing who dies in the end!) and movie ends.

So pathetic a movie it was! And I felt so ashamed of myself to have stayed awake and watched till they flashed "The end"!

What are these kind of movies made for! Who are the people who will watch this with interest? Who in the world would like to see so much of blood shed? And what on earth does the director (bang his head please!) mean at the end??? And just where on earth does so much blood shed happen these days???

I mean, are we fools to accept this kind of "action movies"????

The movie and the director not just left a bad taste, it bugged me so much that I was awake till 3 :-S

PS - I believe there are many mallu(or other language) movies of this flavour so there is no point giving a verdict for this particular movie, but in case you are curious to know, its "Panthayakkozhi" (whatever that means! Sigh!)