Our Resolutions – Year After Year!

So it is December already! Some call it the month for retrospection where we look back with pride and see our achievements written in gold while many others feel December is the excuse God created to forgive ourselves for everything that we couldn't pull this year. December is the corner; we make the turn and it is a new beginning, all over again!



A new beginning signifies changes. And inevitably, it leads us to resolutions, in particular the New Year Resolutions. I can see you smile now! Well, admittedly, for lesser mortals like us, coming up with resolutions for the New Year is a daunting task. This is probably because we have almost lost respect for this term trying to follow the same resolution of staying fit(ter) year after year over the last 5 years and we prefer something different this year! Secondary to this reason is the pressure that the entire universe is putting on us to come up with wackier resolutions, so much that its not a concern whether we choose to follow it or not! Our parents think its high time we "settled down and became more responsible", our manager thinks its high time we started playing a significant role in our team and so developed the skills accordingly, our friends think we are worth our weight in gold for an MBA and so should give it a try and our magazine team in the division thinks we should send one or two resolutions for the contest they are organizing too. And of course, the pressure within us to change! Do we need more?



I almost forgot to mention the choices we have these days. Remember those days when New Year resolutions boringly read "I shall improve my hand writing", "I shall read at least 2 books every month" or "I shall visit the temple every day."? Today we have endless choices in both 'encouraging' and 'discouraging' resolutions. By “encouraging” I mean "I shall fulfill my parents wishes and get married this year" ,"I shall start my own tech blog" and "I shall spend more time with my family and aim at a healthy work-life balance". The latter types are "I shall quit smoking.. err.. wait, I mean I shall smoke only 3 per day", "I shall not shop/spend on impulse every time I see a shop!" or "I shall not spend more than 8 hours(!) a day on Facebook". The time and tested resolutions like going to the gym, waking up early and reaching office on time and lowering your cholesterol levels have reined the list since eternity, for Humanity thinks its a sin to erase them off the list.



All said and done, by the end of December you too would have a list of little-somethings to call it your resolution and save your face. It is a different question if the list is same as the list that you had last year or the year before, the important question is whether you have a list or not. After solemn pledging and declarations that hint we might turn over a new leaf the moment the clock strikes 12 we set out to welcome the New Year and hopefully, a new ‘I’.



January is the month we fall in love with ourselves, all over again! The sheet of resolutions proudly stuck on our wall is still intact and we can’t but think “Yes! I made it this year!” But sadly, we now guess that when that great somebody said something about history repeating itself, he probably was staring at his own resolution sheet peeling off from his wall.



So have you made yours?


PS: Wrote this for a light reading column in the division newsletter. My estranged blog gave me this woebegone look that melted my heart. So did a copy-paste here.

The Late Night Cab

Hurriedly, she locked her boards and cables in her draw and walked out of the door wrapping her shawl around. As she signed at the security gates she glanced at her watch. 11:30 PM. The December night was chilly. She walked towards her cab clutching her shawl closer to her body.

The driver was not seen anywhere. She opened the rear door and waited inside. Her mobile in her hand lit up followed by a beep.

1 new message.

"What time are you coming home?".
Her thumbs quickly texted back a reply "Soon..".

The light from the mobile lit up her young face so gently that she looked angelic, even after clocking 14 hours in there!

Just then a man in white-and-white uniform walked down the parking and got into the Indica. With a quick gesture he asked where she had to be dropped to. "Koramangala, BDA complex. Bere yaaru ilva?", she asked, forming a sentence from her minimal Kannada vocabulary. He replied with a negative.

As the car zoomed past sleepy apartments, empty roads and unattended traffic signals, she pulled down the glasses of her window and kept herself awake. Her eyes could no longer stay awake but she forced them open as they drooped.

She kept an eye on the road. She kept an eye on the driver. Is he on the right road? Is he drunk? Am I safe here, in this car, with this driver? Is he... will he... What if.. Should I.. questions flew about inside her head.

She stared closely at the driver through the rear view. Unshaven. Unruly mop of hair. Pan chewed mouth. All of a sudden she felt so insecure that she wanted to lock herself within the comforts of her home. Far away, inside her head, voices screamed that she was, after all, a woman!

Oh yeah, a salwar-clad demure Indian woman? An Indian woman on whom you can cast your lecherous glance on? Sorry Sir! No more your weakling! The hands that make you rotis can not only type on the keyboard, but wield a sword too, for all you care!

She slipped her fingers into her hand-bag searching for her solace.

Yes, it was there, her pepper spray and her black-belt.

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To you, Pratibha Shrikanth Murthy. May your soul get the justice it deserves, soon.

You have comments on your photographs!!

If somebody collects all the comments people received on their photographs posted on different social networking sites, there is a very high possibility that they would all fall into any one of the below mentioned categories.

1. The made-for-each-other-comment : OK, Now this one will make 50% of all the comments. Any picture which has a guy and girl and nobody else in it will definitely fetch any of these comments with 100% chances : "Wow! You make a great couple", "Man, you both look great together!", "Cool.. both of you look fab in this one", "Awesome pair". Forget the fact that they might be a bro-sis pair, just-friends pair or yeah, as the viewer would have liked them to be - engaged. But who knows! Or rather, who cares!
2. The how-sweet-babies-comment : Alright, I agree, all babies are cute. I know it, you know it and the new mama knows it too. No matter what, the SNS rule states that no baby's pic should stay fetching for comments for longer than 10 seconds post the time of its upload! And a second rule states that every baby picture will receive a constant comment "Howwwwww s(ch)weeeet"; the only variable part allowed can be the number of 'w's and 'e's. Please note "Howww s(ch)weeeet" is the universal constant. Regional constants like "Chakkkkkkkara" are also substitutable.
3. The wow-comment : This comment is just that! You click next, and you actually tell it out before typing it down as a comment. This is usually found beneath pictures of great places, wall-paper candidates, somebody's new haircut/new look/ new clothes, new car, new bike, new wife... ok, just kidding, leave that last one out ;-) Short comment, nevertheless makes the the photo uploader glow like a young bride.
4. The LOL or ROFL- comment : This forms a minority because you rarely find people who would like to make a fool of themselves on social networking sites especially when single and ready to mingle :-P Hence, of the very few occurrences, the most common is beneath pictures of babies doing funny things, a bunch of guys all gone unusually crazy or next to a picture of your pet.
5. The Awesome-comment : All other comments that we have remaining will fall under this category. In case you are wondering what to comment on a particular snap and you badly want to do it too, then rely on these for they are multi-purpose comments - one size fits all! "Awesome", "Awesome!!", "Awwwwwwwwesome", "Truly Awesome!", "Simply Awwwwsome!", "Gosh! Awesome!", "Man! Its Awesome!!", "This-Awesome!!", "That-Awesome!!"... I think this word is the only other word whose popularity in usage has soared high post the success of SNS; the other word being, yes, you guessed it right, "fraaanship" :-)

The above ones are the safest that yours truly relies on and they satisfy most of the situations ;-) If you have other interesting categories, don't forget to pen them down in the comments section!

And I never thought I'd ever miss..

1. Walking back home: Less than 10 years ago walking back from college was the most hated thing. I was always the 'autorikshaw person'! Walking back home then meant aching legs, sweat, the evening traffic, the swarm of people rushing back home, the buses almost brushing your sides and as if they were not enough, heavy bags and lab records in hand, at times the mini drafter as well. And today, the office cab drops me right in front of my gate and volvos stop a metre away from home. Oh yeah, lets not forget the car and the bike too! Today, thoughts about walking back home is not clouded with aching legs or buses any more; rather I miss all the giggles and gossips, chats and pranks, snacks and fun with friends that was part of the walk. Today, I hardly walk, let alone walk with friends!
2. Getting drenched in the rain to the skin: One drop of rain on my shoes and I got into a maniacal state. There was always this thought fed into the Malayali minds to reach home/college/wherever one is supposed to go before it starts raining. Rains weren't romantic then when one was out in it - how could it be when your wet dripping umbrella would form a mini-pool wherever it was placed, when every auto driver's towel would be so wet that it can't be used to wipe the back seats anymore and the honour is on your salwar to do so or when your slippers made embarrassing noises gurgling with water while you walked. It was days and days of almost continuous rains and one used to wait for it to cease. Today, my umbrella hardly sees light! Today, we stay in a place where any drizzle beyond 10 minutes leads to fallen trees, over flowing drains and the newspapers term it "heavy rains".
3. Non-exotic Kerala foods I took for granted: No, they were not my fave of faves then. Pazham puzhungiyatu (steamed bananas) or mathi varatatu (fried sardines) are something ultra mundane and non-exotic. One is so used to eating them that there was nothing to relish! There is a lot of difference between one yearning for mom's special curry and one yearning for something as simple as steamed bananas; its hard to justify the latter :-)
4. Power Cuts: This, from the lips of a Bangalorean, might shock you. I wasn't mentioning the day long power cuts, but those 30 mins/ 1 hour power cuts that used to happen everyday in the evenings for a few months. That was the time when the family did nothing and everybody was in one room, faces partially lit by the yellow glow from a single candle or the 'emergency lamp'. Mosquitoes buzzing in chorus, shadow puppets, the deadly red glow when you wrap your fingers tightly over the torch beam, the rain pelting on the windows and the music of the crickets.. I remember them all! Power cuts today are either from dawn to dusk or if you are lucky, you might have a gen back up. Both cases, they don't evoke anything!
5. Surprise Guests: Having your mom's colleague and family visit you in the evenings of a week day or dad's cousin's cousin's cousin and family drop by on a Sunday morning while they were on their way to some other place was always a very frequent occurrence. Visits, in those days were so informal. No prior calls, no syncing of calendars to fix a date and no elaborate lunch preparations. They just walked in one fine day, drank a cup of tea/coffee and ate snacks, light talks and off they go. A similar visit would be returned on another weekday at their place too. While the parents talked, kids made new friends. But at times, visits like this throw all the plans you had to visit the fair at the town out of the window and you are forced to switch off the TV and be with guest right when the cricket is going on live. You grumble about "surprise guests" who spoil your plans. Today, we hardly go visiting somebody or take pains to invite anybody home! Weekends are exclusively for being lazy. And even when somebody is invited, it has to start with calendar syncs, buying all the stuffs in a super market to cook a lunch and then so busy with cooking that you forget to sit and chat! And worse still, today nobody walks in to your home 'one fine day' - isn't it considered impolite!!! I miss a surprise visit!

And all the while, I never though I'd ever miss these!!

2 Quick Stories..

Here are two quick stories; lest I feel guilty about ignoring this space!

Both stories revolve around the same solitary diamond pendant. No wonder he got terrified when I sent it to him for a first read. He wrote back "Is this some kind of a hint???" :-)

Disclaimer : I don't want one. Don't you worry!

So here goes..

Women Empowerment

"Surprise!"
He opened the blue box, and there it was, the sparkling solitary diamond pendant.

"Damn it! You spent your bonus on this??"
"Don't tell me you don't like it! You think I didn't catch you checking this out at the jeweler's and keeping it back last weekend?"
"Gaaawwwdd..damn it damn it..so your dream DSLR?"
"Next time, next bonus.. I can wait, baby!"
"Dumbo!", and she walked into the bedroom.

"Whats the matter with you?", he followed her to the wardrobe holding the blue box.
"Here, have a look. I got my bonus yesterday", she said and placed a blue box in his other hand.

He opened, and there it was, the same sparkling solitary diamond pendant.


Absent minded Hubby

"Surprise!"
He opened the blue box, and there it was, the sparkling solitary diamond pendant.

Her face turned to dismay. "Damn it! Did you REALLY buy this for my birthday??"
"Don't tell me you didn't like this! I know you have always wanted a solitary diamond pendant"
"Oh yes, I do, but not so much that you should keep getting me exactly the same pendant year after year for my birthday.

Work Life Balance??

vs

Ed 07 April, 2010 : Realized I had forgotten to add 2 important words to the first word cloud. "Thenga kola" and "Maanga tholi" in BIG fonts.

Girl == Pink!

We like rainbows to be VIBGYOR.
We like trees to be green.
We like chocolates to be brown (at times white)
We like the denims to be blue.
And laptops or phones to be black/grey/similar shade.
So do you.
Can't understand why they make a PINK version of every gadget and claim its for us!!!!

Happy to help?

Trring Trrring.

Me : "Hello?"
Caller : "Am I speaking to Ms Priya Mahadevan*?"
Me : "Yes, speaking."
C : "Ma'am am Shilpa* calling from Vodafone. This is a confirmation call. Ma'am, can I confirm a few things with you please?"
Me : "Yes.. please."

C : "Ma'am, is your name Priya Mahadevan*?"
Me : "Yes." (Huh? I thought you checked that after I said hello!)
C : "And your e-mail id is mailto:priya.mahadevan@gmail.com*?
Me : "Yes."
C : "And your DOB is 1st Jan 1981*"
Me : "Yes." (Any gift-plans?)
C : "And your favourite ice cream flavour is chocolate?"
Me : "Right!"
OK, she didn't ask me that last question. But she asked me many other almost-related questions.

...

C : "Are you aware of your call plans ma'am?"
Me : "Yes, I am."
C : "Even if you are aware, let me explain ma'am."
Me : "hmm.." (What the..!)
C : "Ma'am your talk plan is blah blah blah blah blah blah ma'am. Ma'am you have blah blah blah top up blah blah blah. Ma'am you also have blah blah blah blah ma'am. Blah Blah blah blah".

After about 3 minutes.

Me : (3,2,1 breathe. 3,2,1 breathe)
Me : "Thanks!"
C : "Are you aware of your call and sms charges ma'am?"
Me : "Yes yes am very much aware! You don't need to explain." (Please!)
C : "Even if you are aware, let me explain ma'am."
Me : Grrrrrrrrrrr
C : "Ma'am your local blah blah blah blah. Blah blah ma'am. Ma'am blah blah blah blah blah. Ma'am blah blah blah blah. Ma'am blah blah blah. Blah blah blah ma'am."
Me : "Sigh!"

C : "Do you want to know anything else ma'am?"
Me : "No. Please. Thanks. Please. Please. Please!"
C : "Thank you for calling Vodafone ma'am. This is Shilpa* talking to you from Vodafone. Happy to help. Have a nice day ma'am!"
Me : Huh! I thought you called me!!! :-S

*- all names, numbers changed to protect, you know, privacy :)

A vacation, hangover and a movie

Those 3 words sum up my days pretty well. In fact, I realized, I don't have anything to write after I wrote the heading!

We took a break and flew to Thai land for 5 days. Considering the fact that my leaves were tentative even on the eve of the weekend, it was a miracle that it did happen!

And more importantly, am glad that it did. Thailand was chosen because it promised to fit snugly into our small pockets. To some extent, it did and was worth every penny (baht!) shelled.

We spent 2 days in the city of Bangkok, watching the bustling city co-exist with the historic Wats (Buddhist temples in Thai) with seamless ease; like India, may be! Since English speaking Thai are a rarity, we found our self playing Dumb Charades, most of the time, right in the middle of the roads! "Could you tell me why the Palace is closed today" is deftly translated to "Why (2 palms facing skywards) closed (2 arms crossed)? King coming?"!! Was fun, I tell you!

Among other interesting places in Bangkok, we found this amazing food court in Siam Paragon ground floor where you will be spoiled for choices. OK, I found just one veg counter among, probably, 500 counters. Being a hard core non-veg helped! Khao pat, Pad Thai, Tom yum are the common signature words we learnt in this quest! As for me, I preferred to check every thing that had a mention of gai or kai (chicken)! In the end, it would all boil down to any one of the famous red/green or yellow curry, as R said!

The next 3 days were spent at Phuket. To my surprise, Phuket showed striking similarity to Kerala and Goa. The typical Portuguese style houses (a search on the internet now confirms my guess - Phuket indeed has lot of Sino-Portuguese architecture), the beaches, the relaxed locals, the coconut-influence in the Southern Thai cuisine(rather the Thai Muslim curries), the surplus cashew and rubber plantations,the massage parlours(!!), and not to mention, the tide of Western tourists. But I heard Sand drifting off to a "When-I-was-in-the-US" style "Reminds me of Florida" :-)

Phi phi islands getaway was our #1 in the agenda. I had ogled at the turquoise colored water on the Google maps for too long to miss this one. And it didn't disappoint at all. Cliched, you might think, but there is not a better way to describe it - Pristine beaches, turquoise water, right-out-of-a-lost-world hidden bays, and the most beautiful corals and fishes. It will make no sense me describing. I won't do justice! Check it out yourself. I rest my case!

Khai Nai island. (click to enlarge)

So thats about a short write-up. Being back in Bangalore faced with the chore of unpacking, washing, grocery shopping and cooking; worst of all, the fast coming Monday turned me a maniac for the weekend. This week trudged on with me still thinking I was waking up at Phuket each morning and then realizing that I had a job to attend to :-( This has been my worst, lengthiest hangover ever. Sand says one look at Shanthi Sagar got him to back to real life. But for me, Shanthi Sagar also reminds me of exotic Thai dishes :-((

And to break the monotony of the week, we friends planned an OPT on Wednesday. Movie chosen was Kerala Cafe. A half-burnt Innovative Multiplex still lured us all with a ticket priced Rs. 100 (a jackpot in Bangalore!). If you can comprehend Malayalam, then just don't miss this. I'm not going to give a detailed review (like this *don't click that if you plan to watch the movie* crazy guy at rediff who didn't leave out any spoiler from the review - sue him!) or even a basic one. If you badly want one, may be you can wait for it to appear here. All I say is just go for it. Its a rare experiment of Anthology movie, done by 10 talented Malayalam directors and crew. Each story is woven in ten minutes with skill unmatched. One movie which tells you Malayalam cinema is still in safe hands! Made me feel a proud Keralite.

PS : Interesting Thai trivia - 'Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Yuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Phiman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit' is the full ceremonial name of Bangkok, the world's longest name for a city!

Book Review : '2 States, the story of my marriage' - Chetan Bhagat

Chetan Bhagat's fourth book '2 States, the story of my marriage' comes about a year and half after his third book 'The 3 Mistakes of My Life' and is no less enjoyable than his first best-seller 'Five Point Someone - What not to do at IIT'.


'2 States, the story of my marriage' is claimed to be inspired by the author's own love-story. The plot revolves around Krish Malhotra, a Punjabi brought-up in Delhi and his IIM-A classmate Ananya Swaminathan, a Tam-Brahm, who fall desperately in love with each other and want to get married soon. They soon discover that falling in love and getting married in India was not as easy as it sounds. "Love marriages around the world are simple : Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy. They get married. In India, there are a few more steps : Boy loves girl. Girl loves boy. Girl's family has to love boy. Boy's family has to love girl. Girls' family has to love boy's family. Boy's family has to love girl's family. Girl and boy still love each other. They get married.", says the blurb. And if the families don't like each other, we have enough material to write a 269-page book that is '2 States, ..'.

The narrative, done through the eyes of Krish, is crisp and humour-laden. The extend to which Krish or Ananya go to convince the other parent draws a big smile on the reader's face. A major portion of the story is concentrated on the Punjabi vs Tamil differences in culture which is most of the time funny, but might get offending at times; especially when Krish's mother keeps referring to the 'Madrasis' as black-skinned and Punjabis as 'white as milk'. On the other side, Ananya's parents also find enough fault in Krish's big-mouthed mother who seemed "Intellectually culturally zero" to them! But that send the sparks flying and the love-stuck couple has to get their acts together to get the families together if they wanted their love to have a future.

Chetan Bhagat has managed to successfully bring out finer nuances of the 2 states by statements like "Nothing soothes an upset Punjabi like dairy products" when Krish tries to pacify his mom after she came to know that her son had a "Madrasin" for a girl-friend or when Krish enters Ananya's home in Mylapore and thinks "A Punjabi house is never this silent even when people sleep at night". The characters of Krish's mom is easily very close to real life and so are Ananya's bank-employed father and Carnatic music-trained mother.

The book can be easily waved off as a 100% entertainer and nothing more but for some thoughtful yet simple lines like "The world's most sensible person and the biggest idiot both stay within us. The worst part is, you can't even tell who is who" or "Sometimes in life you just meet someone or hear something that nudges you on the right path. And that becomes the best advice. It could just be a bit of common sense said in a way that resonates with something in you. It's nothing new, but because it connects with you it holds meaning to you". How many times have we all felt this!

It is these subtle thoughts that "2 States, the story of my marriage" keep the reader engrossed till the last page and empathize with the lead pair in their roller-coaster ride. A thoroughly enjoyable read which can be finished in one sitting. I'm sure this book is the answer to pass time on a rainy weekend or an uneventful train journey. A likely Bollywood-wooer, I see very high chances of it getting adapted into a movie.

The paper-back edition is published by Rupa Publications and is priced at Rs 95.

PS : Have never written a book review for my blog. And I guess I never will! This was written for a newsletter in office and since I was going through the worst of "no-topics-to-write-abt-on-my-blog" dilemma (don't feel justified to call it "writer's block".. writer who :-p) and so decided to Ctrl-V it here as well :-)

A day in her life..

I stood near the door of this boutique all day long, as if waiting for someone.

Dressed in a denim jeans and white tank top, I could give many a ramp-model a run for her money. My golden locks fell all around my shoulders with its dark streaks glinting in the rays of the morning sun. My stilettos added another 4 inch to an already tall figure. I wore a jazzy belt to accentuate my size-zero waist. And I just stood there all day long, tilted slightly towards my left and my hands in my pocket, with a tiny smile plastered on my face.

Kids smile at me and sometimes tug at my arms. They are the only people I like. Twenty-something-females would stand and stare at my clothes for a good minute before walking away, much to my embarrassment. And if that wasn't enough, some crazy men would link arms with me and pose for photographs!

And I said nothing, I did nothing, but to stand there all day, as if waiting for someone.
For what else was a day in a mannequin's life like!

Cockeyed Notes

I yearn so much for you that it makes me go red with embarrasment.
Everyday I shamelessly look forward to the day I will meet you again.
The thought of having you for a full day, dawn to midnight, after a lonely week sends me so giddy that all other thoughts look petty and are forced to make way for you.

And when you do walk in, the music in me reaches a crescendo, deafening my senses.

Oh Friday, here you are, at my door-step today. How much I missed you!

Bottles, Dals and Kitchen decor!

Most of my pet-jars in the kitchen seem to have one or the other kind of dal. Some white, some round, some cut, some yellow, some small, some large. I don't have a clue what half of them are. Thanks to this great fact that you can't substitute one type of dal for another in any Indian dish, I ended up with all these varities. And with each visit of parents, one more new type gets included!
This weekend, as I washed and dried all the bottles under the sun I decided to do some dal-sorting. Most of the dals were beyond their expiriy date. Some jars even had a small, yet, thriving eco-system in them.
Idea! I had 3 pretty-OK shaped bottles. Few nice looking but not edible dal packets. And some time to spare.
So came up with these for my kitchen window sil :-D
Felt they looked nice!

(click image for an enlarged view)

Want to try? Its too simple to be explained in steps. So here goes some tips:

1. Ensure that the jars are perfectly dry before you begin this!
2. Take care to use a funnel to put the dal through narrow-mouthed bottles.
3. Masoor dal gives a vibrant look to it. Use it in plenty.
4. I used an old packet of rock salt for the white portion. Salt/Sugar can also be used.
5. I even stuffed a few dried-red-chilles near the top of the bottle.
6. You can add ANY stuff from your kitchen here. Don't stop at dals. I have added even a saunf layer!
7. And yes, you might have to sacrifice some of the good green-gram and other dals which you use frequently. Don't depend ONLY on the stuffs which have outlived their expiry dates!

That is it, I guess :-D
My attempt doesn't look all that neat. But I got so excited with the idea that I had to-had to-had to blog it :-p

On wedding Invitations/Response in Kerala

I can't be sure if this is an exclusively-mallu phenomenon but many Keralite would have come across such things at some point of their life.

Weddings, for the parents of Mallu grooms and brides, is a litmus test of their social-skills.Most often, they go much beyond litmus test and turn out to be a memory test, public speaking test,vocabulary test, writing skill test, management skill test and not to mention, physical and mental ability test as well.

And if you fail in any of these tests, there would be a sizeable fall in the number of guests, which is the only other parameter, along with the number of payasams in the sadya, that determine how "grand" the wedding was.

Now, what are the stimuli for a fall in the number/displeasure of mallu guests at a given wedding?

1) "He sent me an invitation over post! He is probably settled in Mumbai. But can't he come here and invite us all in person! We needn't attend this wedding. We shall tell him that we are attending Unnikrishnan's mother's niece's husband's brother's son's wedding on the same day! Halla Pinne! "

2) Now a look at the invitation. "Check this.. he has written 'We invite you with family'.. he has missed the word 'cordially' and he has addressed it to 'Mr. Gopalakrishnan and family'.. not 'Mr & Mrs. Gopalakrishnan & family'! Is this how you invite family! Bah!"

3) Now, suppose he did come all the way from Mumbai to invite in person, this is how things will move."Wedding is in Thrissur? How will we come? Have you arranged bus for all of us from here? What? Bus is from Trivandrum? You have not arranged bus from Cochin?? Thats so difficult!"

4) Now if bus is also arranged to have them taken from Cochin to Thrissur, there is another glitch. "Remember, when we invited him for our son's wedding last year, he didn't even acknowledge the invitation sent by post. And all he sent was a telegram wish. That was late by 2 days. Chetta, Should we go?"

5) Finally after much thought Chettan and Chechi decide to go. Along with them are chechi's sister, her kids and chechi's aged amma and achan. Once there Chettan again has a problem. Groom's Achan is not seen at the Mandapam's gate. Where is he! He should have come to welcome us!! After all, we are his grand father's brother's wife's sister's son and family!

6) Thats when he sees groom's father and mother on the mandapam, blessing the newly wedded couple and carrying out other rituals. Chettan remarks "See, this is why I told you we should not have come! That guy is busy on stage. He doesn't bother if we came or not!"

7) At the lunch, the exhausted father of the groom comes to say thanks to all the guests who have joined. At chettan's place "Hows the sadya?". Chettan says "It is great mone! Kalakki!" and once he leaves, chettan whispers to chechi "The rice is not even cooked well! And the pappadam is over!"

8) At the end of it all, chettan and chechi go to bless the newly wedded couple. The father of the groom asks his son "Mone.. you remember this uncle?". The groom gives that sheepish smile he has reserved for stranger-guests. "Aaah.... uhhhmm... no, we have not met I think". Chettan is disheartened but nevertheless gives a slap on the back of the groom and says "Aaah... how can he! He was a baby when I last saw him. See how he has grown! HAHAHHAHA" and that gurgling chortle continues for a good one minute until the videographer asks him to move out of the stage and asks the next family to come up!

Addicted to 55 words!!

Some more 55-stuffs :)

Goodbye Home

Mother thinks I am growing too big for my house and I should leave home now.
I think its not fair!
I am pushed out of my home. I can't fight back the force.
Flashes of light. Ouch, it hurts!
I cry my lungs out.
Somebody looks at me and shouts "Its a baby boy!"

SMS Birthday

Beep Beep. 1 new SMS. "Honey, I am caught in something important here! I shall reach late from work. Can you please pick your birthday cake on your way back from office? And don't forget to call me when you blow the candles and cut cake. I will wish you over the phone. Love you!"

The Red one or The Blue one?

She : "How is this blue one?"
He : "WOW!"
2 minutes later.
She : "Is this red one fine?"
He : "WOW!"
2 minutes later.
She : "And this white one?"
He : "WOW!"
2 minutes later.
She : "So which one do I buy?"
He : "I dunno. All of them looked great on you!"
30 minutes later.
She : "So which one do I buy? Red one?"
He : "I dunno. All of them looked great on you!"
30 minutes later...
She : "So which one do I buy? Red one?"
.........


versus

She1 : "How is this blue one?"
She2 : "Hmm.. good! You like those puffed sleeves?"
2 minutes later.
She1 : "Is this red one fine?"
She2 : "Great! suits you so well!"
2 minutes later.
She1 : "And this white one?"
She2 : "Ok-ish. Not as much as the blue and red."
2 minutes later.
She1 : "So which one do I buy?"
She2 : "Go for the red one!"
She1 : "Yup.. I loved that too!"
30 minutes later..
At home.

Moral : Women take LOTTTA time to shop. True, if her companion is a man.

Park Bench

Reading this was a pleasure which made me go deeper into this and here is the little wonder that the inspiration did to me:


******************************************************************
She was reading a book. I caught her glance and smiled.
She smiled shyly and went back to reading.
I sat next to her on the bench in the park.
She moved closer.
Till our hands touched. It rained.
I walked away. So did she.
Behind bars now. Never steal a Samsung mobile again!
******************************************************************

Home Alone.

Exhausted, I lugged myself home. It was Friday. I wasn't excited about spending the weekend alone. With him out of town, it made no sense to celebrate it on your own! I turned the key to unlock the door of my apartment. The key clicked. It made a loud noise in the silence of the night. Inside, I switched on the living room lights. The clock struck ten, making me jump. And the silence returned.

It started giving an eerie feeling and I felt strange being in my own home! I switched on the TV to break the silence. CNN IBN still had some news to end the day and the reporter was nonchalantly speaking about something. I let the TV be and went for a shower.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

While I prepared to go to bed, I texted him "Good night, I am scared to be alone!” Just then I heard a beep from the bed side table. "1 new message", showed his phone. How did he forget to take it along! Brushing my thoughts aside, I rang up mom next. She was worried like all moms about me spending a night alone.

"I'm fine, mom.” I lied, like all daughters!

MTV style check showed how to wear your scarf. Bah! I switched the TV off. Back in bed, something crossed my mind which made me sit up startled. MTV? But I remember watching CNN IBN! Or am I already too sleepy to remember? And just then I heard a noise which sounded like the balcony door swing. Had I not locked it? I slipped on my slippers and went to check.

Yes, it was swaying. There was a gentle breeze. It was a cold. Locking the balcony doors, I went back and tried to sleep. I probably thought I heard more noises; of clicks, thuds, but brushed them off. I must be imagining. I tossed and turned for some time. Then I recited a small prayer and shut my eyes tight.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I think I slept for a while before I was awakened by a loud thud in the living room. I woke up with a start and sat in my bed. I was sweating and my heart was palpitating. My hands had gone cold. I was now sure that I wasn't alone here, there was an intruder! Burglar! Will he kill me? God, help!!

I rummaged through the draw in the dark. Mustering all courage I inched towards the living room, armed with a pocket knife. And I waited there, with bated breath, for my intruder to make a move. Nothing happened. Few agonizing minutes passed, seeming like hours. Then I saw vague shadows of 3 people in the dark. I let out a gasp.. I was to fight 3!!! One shadow moved towards me.

My feet wobbled. Hands shivered. The shadow came closer and stopped a foot ahead. All of a sudden, I felt a large hand fall on my shoulder and I let out a blood curdling scream. Almost immediately, the lights came on and I saw my friends standing there, singing in unison "Happy Birthday to you!” And there he was, the shadow-guy who scared the life out of me, who should have been out of town, grinning in the corner, ready with a birthday cake!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

PS : Will keep editing this version :) Had planned to send this as an entry for the short story contest in office. Pour in your suggestions to improve! And thanks for the comments!!!

PS : Updated with final version.

[25th June,2009] PS : Btw, I won it :) Thank u all, for ur encouragement & comments!! I am giving this to you, my readers :)

What would you have wanted to do? vs What did you do?

This is a quickie.
I was on my way back home in the 8:00 PM can after work. A girl and a guy sat opposite to me, seemingly new joinees in the company.

She wanted to go to Kagadaspura and had boarded our bus thinking that would take her somewhere close to her destination.

Nopes, the bus was heading to BTM and I don't know if she realised that Kagadaspura was hardly 2 km from office, but in the opposite direction in which we were heading!

Somebody in the bus suggested she take an auto instead of going on this round-trip.

"Hey.. no yaar.. I hv just 40 rupees.. I can't go in auto."

Her guy-friend Mr.X laughed at her statement.
Then somebody said she could get down at BEML gate and take a direct bus to K'pura; which sounded like a great idea for her, and for her purse.

It was raining hard. The guy and she chattered loudly for all of us to hear(and let me add, in that bugging manner which guys think characterise girls - "hey no yeahhhhhh... why yeahhhhhh...seeee yeeeaahhhh" types) about petty stuffs..

She : "How much does it take to office from ur place by bus"
He : "Hmm.. 7 rupees"
She : "Oh.. it takes 9 for me yaar." (How sad! 2 rupees more!)


Some more less-than-10-rupees-money-talks continue to the point of saturation of irritation for the other bus mates. The way the guy spoke had started getting on my nerves and I developed an instant hatred for him.

She : Why do you want to go to marathahalli today yaar... its raining.. (so concerned! duh!)
He : Those people have my jeans ready..should collect it today yaaaaarrrr..
She : (pleading) But its raiiiiininggg...
He : Ohh.. I love rains...
Me : (to myself)grrr..Shut up, will ya!
She : Do you have a cap?
He : Cap? Yeah... way back in Kolkota!
Me : SIGH!!!!

Fortunately, the bus had trudged close to BEML gate by then and I was happy that one of them would go away. Our Mr.X now started showing some fake-concerns for madam.

He : "Hey, you know how to go from here?"
She : "No, but he said I could get a bus from here".
He : "Hey.. in case you have any problem naaa... " (trails off)

I thought he was about to give her his number and ask her to make a call.

He continued "Go back to office and take the 9:30 cab..ok?"

And just when she was about to get down, he asked the next stupid question.

He : "Hey.. do u need some money??? If you want I can spare you 30 or 40 bucks, you know!"

And she looked so pathetic when she said "Yes, I need. Please give me.."
He drew out his wallet and out came many 100 rupee notes.. and he fumbled with them until the driver told madam to get down.

When she said "Ok..never mind" and was about to get down.. he promptly put his wallet back. Shameless!!!

By now everybody in the bus was feeling bad for madam. Some good guy in the bus screamed.. "Hey, take some money from me" My hands moved to my purse and I wanted to give her some money. And also some good piece of advice that there are working ATMs in office, that nobody comes to office on her first day with just Rs.40 in purse and that you should learn to let go of friends who not only refuse to help you when you need them but also add to your headache. And I wanted to tell the guy "You are the biggest jerk I have ever met! I can't understand what kind of a friend you are!". But I don't know why; I didn't do both.

The girl got out and walked in the rain. I don't know when she reached home.

I felt bad I didn't grab my purse and give her the money. I felt bad that I didn't scream at the guy. I felt bad that I didn't act.

How many times have we thought I would want to do this, but never did.. and the moment passes, leaving you in deep remorse?

What would you have wanted to do and what would you have done? Let me know :)

On Lunch boxes - specifically, post-marriage-lunch boxes

My classmate in college said his office was moving to the same building as my office and we were discussing about catching up after such a long time (well, let's ignore the fact that he was just a few buildings away for many months now and the "catching up" has never bothered to happen even then!!) Aah.. so while on the topic he joked(I hope it was!) that I could bring him packed lunches from home, now that we were in the same building.

And when I typed in the honest reply that neither me nor hubby dear takes lunch from home and so if he needed a dabba, I would have to cook lunch exclusively for him, he replied with a "thats not nice.. these days husbands.. " and trailed off.


Right... these days all husbands have lunch boxes. A husband without a lunch box is like a woman undergoing domestic violence at her home, a violation of human rights!

I dug deeper and here goes my analysis.

1. Symbol of Marriage
   Today, young girls (traditionally N.Indian, but these days, just about anyone!), soon after their wedding are observed to metamorphose into an Unidentifiable-Talking-Object (UTO). The change is dominant on the first day of joining back to work. A I-love-rugged-jeans type will be seen in the demure-est salwar-kameez, full with the bright red sindoor, chunky mangal sutra and red bangles covering both arms. And needless to say, the change will wear off after some time when they find their lost rugged-jeans again. So the men folks felt left out and decided to announce their weddings in their unique styles - lunch boxes - colored ones, tupper-ware ones, good ol' stain steel ones, triple deckers, you name it, they have it!
   


2. My-Wife-is-the-Best syndrome
   To bring your lunch box indicates your wife wakes up early in the morning, takes her bath at 5, makes you b-fast, makes yummy lunches, packs your lunch box and is there to see you off to office, everyday. What more does he want! :)At work, I know your heart fills up with pride when you stand in that queue for using the microwave while others wait for their poison-for-the-day (read as : cafeteria lunches)
   


3. Sizes don't matter
   Probably you fall on the wrong sides of the BMI and you are one of those who ate two full-
   meals for lunch, apart from the orange shake and fruit bowl, before you got married. But post-wedding, when the lunch boxes come into picture, it really doesn't matter how much you eat; what matters is what you eat. So its perfectly fine to bring a lunch box half the size of your snacks-box in school; for you don't want your 'lunch kit' (to be described soon) to be bigger than your laptop case!


4. The 'lunch kit'
   Lunch boxes are not be hidden inside your back-packs. They should be proudly displayed in an ergonomically designed bags called 'lunch kits' or 'lunch bags'. Some lunch boxes come with a 'built-in' bag with features including keeping your "lovingly made" food warm. If your lunch box is not as lucky as these you can use eco-friendly bags made of recycled-paper or jute. Whatever the case, take care to sling it on your shoulders and walk with your heads held high.

Closing for now, as it is time for my lunch :) No, nobody packs me lunches. If at all, I would have to do it. And fortunately, hubby dear doesn't mind me not packing him one :)

PS1 : There are frauds here as well. Most people who bring lunch boxes don't qualify for point #2 if their wife follows only the first half of the "lovingly cook" phrase and they have appointed a cook to do the second half.

PS2 : Btw, no offense intended at anybody! Am just plain jealous of people who bring their lunch boxes :-p

PS3 : Pic courtesy : As always : Flickr Creative Commons! I simply loved it!