Urumi = Pazhassi Raja + Raavan + Asoka

Disclaimer: No, this is not a review. I can't dare to write a review on a movie when I didn't understand half the dialogues!

After a week of initiating the Lets-watch-Urumi-today mail thread among the OPT-ians, Sand and me decided to go on our own when skpan gave the great news that most of the people in the group watched it already!

So yesterday we set out to Innovative multiplex after dinner for the 10 pm show. Crowd was less.

I had read at least 5 reviews, all calling it an average-above-average movie, each one mentioning the excellent job Genelia D'souza has done in particular. Having never liked Pritviraj so much I was honestly only interested in the Genelia role that the reviews liberally lauded.

I had read the plot too. Even read that the first 20 minutes would make little sense. I was least perturbed when it didn't :-) I consoled Sand repeating what the reviewer said.

I think I rather not discuss the plot much. I would need somebody to narrate me the story again. So let the story rest in peace. Some thoughts that ran into my mind as I stifled a million yawns

1) Pritviraj's Psychological Problem(PPP):

I think Pritviraj watched Mammootty's Pazhassi Raja a thousand times that he
started empathising and after a while "being" Pazhassi Raja - a la Shobhana-Nagavalli in Manichitratazhu. He must have threatened Santhosh Sivan with dire consequences while in his "psychosis to neurosis" if he didn't direct a movie for him with Pritviraj doing a quasi-Pazhassi role. And so Urumi happened.

2) Damsels:

But Pritviraj was clear about his heroine. He didn't want the Makam style damsel of Pazhassi Raja whose only role was to weep through out the movie - Weep when hero gets up, weep when hero walks, weep when hero laughs so much that the makam lady would have had a muscle cramp(!) on her face every night! So he chose Arakkal Ayesha (Genelia) who is at her lithesome best! He left the weeping part to be done by Chirakkal Bala (Nithya Menon) in the end when she lost her love(Prabhudeva with a strange name - Vavali something?) to a bullet.

3) The Set Wet Look:

Raavan had the whole crew in drenched clothes, wet unkempt hair in the entire movie. People always looked as if they just had a bath under a water fall. Aishwarya rai's clothes were always soggy. Her hair always dripping with water. Asoka had Kareena Kapoor in water. SRK too. Drenched clothes and unkempt hair again. So is in Urumi. Genelia is dripping in water in most of the scenes with Pritviraj. All songs are shot as if in an "ancient water theme park"! All damsels are wet in at least 1 song. Santosh Sivan likes the wet look and the unruly locks of hair falling all over the face. Period.

4) Vidya Balan:

I still didn't understand what she did at the temple. Was it a dance? Who was she? What was her role? Really, can somebody appear and disappear from a movie like that! I guess it was the Santosh Sivan brand name that she fell for which made her sign this one! Santosh Sivan would have clarified her role thus "Mole, nee onnu ivde vannu mudi okke azhichu oru 4 times clock-wise and 4 times anti-clock-wise tala karakki veettil pokko." (Roughly: "My dear daughter, just come over here and let loose your hair and turn your head four times in the clock-wise direction and four times in the anti-clockwise direction and you can go home!"). Or Vidya must have taken this item song as a practice session for her next movie where she plays the famous deceased South Indian sex siren. Whatever!

5) Amigos! nao inimigos:

Vasco Da Gama provided some comic relief with his strange giggle before he started his dialogues. Almost like in the Angry Birds "he he he". Pure unadulterated fun. From where did they manage to get the cast?? Vasco's son Estevao-something was equal fun to watch.

6) Genelia D'Souza:

Arakkal Ayesha was the saving grace of the movie. The camera has pampered her well too. Never noticed that she had such lovely doe-eyes. The surma added the right charm to them and the Muslim princess looked gorgeous, even when she did apparently manly fight scenes. Good job and thank you :-)

7) Tabu? :

Appeared for 1/100th of a milli second and fled the fields, in the same outfit. Was that really Tabu or did I imagine this part?

8) Urumi:

I wouldn't have cared even if it had been a sword, dagger or a hockey stick - Seriously! Does that make any difference??

9) Cinematography:

Can't comment much on Santosh Sivan's direction. But when it comes to cinematography, he is a second to no one. Urumi would have left me sleeping in the multiplex had it not been for this. Classy location (I hear same as Ravan's), beautiful shots though some look like repeated from Raavan and Asoka.

10) The blah-blah-blah:

Sorry, but I hardly understood 40% what they spoke in Malayalam! In fact I was relieved when they spoke Portuguese, because they showed the subtitles in English then! Most dialogues were long and complicated. The ones that were short were mostly jokes. And fortunately, worth a laugh. KPAC Lalitha's narration in the beginning felt reassuring!

11) Innovative Multiplex:


I-multiplex sound system was a huge pain. The seating looked strange with so many extra cushions on most of the chairs! Most of them were moved to the nearest empty chair and piled. Wonder how they came in the first place! The chairs were uncomfortable. As always, I never got to see the full screen - the silhouetted head of the guy sitting in front of me was embedded on the screen like every time.


Back home at 1. Discussions on the movie till 1:35 until we started feeling really bad about watching it. So watched the "Poorangalude pooramaaya..." dialogue from "Pranji ettan and the Saint" on You-tube for stress-busting and fell into a comfortable sleep.

And I never thought I'd ever miss..

1. Walking back home: Less than 10 years ago walking back from college was the most hated thing. I was always the 'autorikshaw person'! Walking back home then meant aching legs, sweat, the evening traffic, the swarm of people rushing back home, the buses almost brushing your sides and as if they were not enough, heavy bags and lab records in hand, at times the mini drafter as well. And today, the office cab drops me right in front of my gate and volvos stop a metre away from home. Oh yeah, lets not forget the car and the bike too! Today, thoughts about walking back home is not clouded with aching legs or buses any more; rather I miss all the giggles and gossips, chats and pranks, snacks and fun with friends that was part of the walk. Today, I hardly walk, let alone walk with friends!
2. Getting drenched in the rain to the skin: One drop of rain on my shoes and I got into a maniacal state. There was always this thought fed into the Malayali minds to reach home/college/wherever one is supposed to go before it starts raining. Rains weren't romantic then when one was out in it - how could it be when your wet dripping umbrella would form a mini-pool wherever it was placed, when every auto driver's towel would be so wet that it can't be used to wipe the back seats anymore and the honour is on your salwar to do so or when your slippers made embarrassing noises gurgling with water while you walked. It was days and days of almost continuous rains and one used to wait for it to cease. Today, my umbrella hardly sees light! Today, we stay in a place where any drizzle beyond 10 minutes leads to fallen trees, over flowing drains and the newspapers term it "heavy rains".
3. Non-exotic Kerala foods I took for granted: No, they were not my fave of faves then. Pazham puzhungiyatu (steamed bananas) or mathi varatatu (fried sardines) are something ultra mundane and non-exotic. One is so used to eating them that there was nothing to relish! There is a lot of difference between one yearning for mom's special curry and one yearning for something as simple as steamed bananas; its hard to justify the latter :-)
4. Power Cuts: This, from the lips of a Bangalorean, might shock you. I wasn't mentioning the day long power cuts, but those 30 mins/ 1 hour power cuts that used to happen everyday in the evenings for a few months. That was the time when the family did nothing and everybody was in one room, faces partially lit by the yellow glow from a single candle or the 'emergency lamp'. Mosquitoes buzzing in chorus, shadow puppets, the deadly red glow when you wrap your fingers tightly over the torch beam, the rain pelting on the windows and the music of the crickets.. I remember them all! Power cuts today are either from dawn to dusk or if you are lucky, you might have a gen back up. Both cases, they don't evoke anything!
5. Surprise Guests: Having your mom's colleague and family visit you in the evenings of a week day or dad's cousin's cousin's cousin and family drop by on a Sunday morning while they were on their way to some other place was always a very frequent occurrence. Visits, in those days were so informal. No prior calls, no syncing of calendars to fix a date and no elaborate lunch preparations. They just walked in one fine day, drank a cup of tea/coffee and ate snacks, light talks and off they go. A similar visit would be returned on another weekday at their place too. While the parents talked, kids made new friends. But at times, visits like this throw all the plans you had to visit the fair at the town out of the window and you are forced to switch off the TV and be with guest right when the cricket is going on live. You grumble about "surprise guests" who spoil your plans. Today, we hardly go visiting somebody or take pains to invite anybody home! Weekends are exclusively for being lazy. And even when somebody is invited, it has to start with calendar syncs, buying all the stuffs in a super market to cook a lunch and then so busy with cooking that you forget to sit and chat! And worse still, today nobody walks in to your home 'one fine day' - isn't it considered impolite!!! I miss a surprise visit!

And all the while, I never though I'd ever miss these!!

A vacation, hangover and a movie

Those 3 words sum up my days pretty well. In fact, I realized, I don't have anything to write after I wrote the heading!

We took a break and flew to Thai land for 5 days. Considering the fact that my leaves were tentative even on the eve of the weekend, it was a miracle that it did happen!

And more importantly, am glad that it did. Thailand was chosen because it promised to fit snugly into our small pockets. To some extent, it did and was worth every penny (baht!) shelled.

We spent 2 days in the city of Bangkok, watching the bustling city co-exist with the historic Wats (Buddhist temples in Thai) with seamless ease; like India, may be! Since English speaking Thai are a rarity, we found our self playing Dumb Charades, most of the time, right in the middle of the roads! "Could you tell me why the Palace is closed today" is deftly translated to "Why (2 palms facing skywards) closed (2 arms crossed)? King coming?"!! Was fun, I tell you!

Among other interesting places in Bangkok, we found this amazing food court in Siam Paragon ground floor where you will be spoiled for choices. OK, I found just one veg counter among, probably, 500 counters. Being a hard core non-veg helped! Khao pat, Pad Thai, Tom yum are the common signature words we learnt in this quest! As for me, I preferred to check every thing that had a mention of gai or kai (chicken)! In the end, it would all boil down to any one of the famous red/green or yellow curry, as R said!

The next 3 days were spent at Phuket. To my surprise, Phuket showed striking similarity to Kerala and Goa. The typical Portuguese style houses (a search on the internet now confirms my guess - Phuket indeed has lot of Sino-Portuguese architecture), the beaches, the relaxed locals, the coconut-influence in the Southern Thai cuisine(rather the Thai Muslim curries), the surplus cashew and rubber plantations,the massage parlours(!!), and not to mention, the tide of Western tourists. But I heard Sand drifting off to a "When-I-was-in-the-US" style "Reminds me of Florida" :-)

Phi phi islands getaway was our #1 in the agenda. I had ogled at the turquoise colored water on the Google maps for too long to miss this one. And it didn't disappoint at all. Cliched, you might think, but there is not a better way to describe it - Pristine beaches, turquoise water, right-out-of-a-lost-world hidden bays, and the most beautiful corals and fishes. It will make no sense me describing. I won't do justice! Check it out yourself. I rest my case!

Khai Nai island. (click to enlarge)

So thats about a short write-up. Being back in Bangalore faced with the chore of unpacking, washing, grocery shopping and cooking; worst of all, the fast coming Monday turned me a maniac for the weekend. This week trudged on with me still thinking I was waking up at Phuket each morning and then realizing that I had a job to attend to :-( This has been my worst, lengthiest hangover ever. Sand says one look at Shanthi Sagar got him to back to real life. But for me, Shanthi Sagar also reminds me of exotic Thai dishes :-((

And to break the monotony of the week, we friends planned an OPT on Wednesday. Movie chosen was Kerala Cafe. A half-burnt Innovative Multiplex still lured us all with a ticket priced Rs. 100 (a jackpot in Bangalore!). If you can comprehend Malayalam, then just don't miss this. I'm not going to give a detailed review (like this *don't click that if you plan to watch the movie* crazy guy at rediff who didn't leave out any spoiler from the review - sue him!) or even a basic one. If you badly want one, may be you can wait for it to appear here. All I say is just go for it. Its a rare experiment of Anthology movie, done by 10 talented Malayalam directors and crew. Each story is woven in ten minutes with skill unmatched. One movie which tells you Malayalam cinema is still in safe hands! Made me feel a proud Keralite.

PS : Interesting Thai trivia - 'Krung Thep Mahanakhon Amon Rattanakosin Mahinthara Yuthaya Mahadilok Phop Noppharat Ratchathani Burirom Udomratchaniwet Mahasathan Amon Phiman Awatan Sathit Sakkathattiya Witsanukam Prasit' is the full ceremonial name of Bangkok, the world's longest name for a city!

On wedding Invitations/Response in Kerala

I can't be sure if this is an exclusively-mallu phenomenon but many Keralite would have come across such things at some point of their life.

Weddings, for the parents of Mallu grooms and brides, is a litmus test of their social-skills.Most often, they go much beyond litmus test and turn out to be a memory test, public speaking test,vocabulary test, writing skill test, management skill test and not to mention, physical and mental ability test as well.

And if you fail in any of these tests, there would be a sizeable fall in the number of guests, which is the only other parameter, along with the number of payasams in the sadya, that determine how "grand" the wedding was.

Now, what are the stimuli for a fall in the number/displeasure of mallu guests at a given wedding?

1) "He sent me an invitation over post! He is probably settled in Mumbai. But can't he come here and invite us all in person! We needn't attend this wedding. We shall tell him that we are attending Unnikrishnan's mother's niece's husband's brother's son's wedding on the same day! Halla Pinne! "

2) Now a look at the invitation. "Check this.. he has written 'We invite you with family'.. he has missed the word 'cordially' and he has addressed it to 'Mr. Gopalakrishnan and family'.. not 'Mr & Mrs. Gopalakrishnan & family'! Is this how you invite family! Bah!"

3) Now, suppose he did come all the way from Mumbai to invite in person, this is how things will move."Wedding is in Thrissur? How will we come? Have you arranged bus for all of us from here? What? Bus is from Trivandrum? You have not arranged bus from Cochin?? Thats so difficult!"

4) Now if bus is also arranged to have them taken from Cochin to Thrissur, there is another glitch. "Remember, when we invited him for our son's wedding last year, he didn't even acknowledge the invitation sent by post. And all he sent was a telegram wish. That was late by 2 days. Chetta, Should we go?"

5) Finally after much thought Chettan and Chechi decide to go. Along with them are chechi's sister, her kids and chechi's aged amma and achan. Once there Chettan again has a problem. Groom's Achan is not seen at the Mandapam's gate. Where is he! He should have come to welcome us!! After all, we are his grand father's brother's wife's sister's son and family!

6) Thats when he sees groom's father and mother on the mandapam, blessing the newly wedded couple and carrying out other rituals. Chettan remarks "See, this is why I told you we should not have come! That guy is busy on stage. He doesn't bother if we came or not!"

7) At the lunch, the exhausted father of the groom comes to say thanks to all the guests who have joined. At chettan's place "Hows the sadya?". Chettan says "It is great mone! Kalakki!" and once he leaves, chettan whispers to chechi "The rice is not even cooked well! And the pappadam is over!"

8) At the end of it all, chettan and chechi go to bless the newly wedded couple. The father of the groom asks his son "Mone.. you remember this uncle?". The groom gives that sheepish smile he has reserved for stranger-guests. "Aaah.... uhhhmm... no, we have not met I think". Chettan is disheartened but nevertheless gives a slap on the back of the groom and says "Aaah... how can he! He was a baby when I last saw him. See how he has grown! HAHAHHAHA" and that gurgling chortle continues for a good one minute until the videographer asks him to move out of the stage and asks the next family to come up!