Friday, May 12, 2006

Murphy's Laws vs Murphy's Loss

Long long ago,so long ago,nobody knows how long ago,there lived a girl,thats you, who was a great follower of Murphy. Especially his law "If anything can go wrong,it will".


Mistake #1 : There is this great mail which claims that your MSN inbox will grow astronomically if you follow the steps given. Playing the role of the Good Samaritan,you decide to forward it to your cousin brother Mr.abc d xyz.

Mistake #2 : (The biggest and the most-deciding mistake (a.k.a factor) ) Its a common belief that there are 9 other (wo)men around the world like you. After the theory got customized to be compatible with the 21st century IT world,it reads "There MIGHT be people (number varies) around the world who MIGHT have only semi-different name as yours(say abc d,in our case),but under certain circumstances ,would find it no harm to create an e-mail address which would resemble your name (ie, abcgxyz@gmail.com,probably because xyz was a common surname) " Btw,this belief could also explain why you got the message saying the e-mail id was already in use when you tried to create a fresh one in your name.


Mistake #3 : You don't exactly remember the mail id of Mr.abc d xyz cousin of yours..and since being over-smart was a default nature embedded in you since birth, you think its one of
--> abcdxyz@gmail.com (reasoning : he had another id like abcdxyz@yahoo.com)
--> abcxyz@gmail.com(reasoning : the 'd' seems out of place)
--> abcdx@gmail.com (reasoning : thats a common strategy right?)
Mistake #4 : Since "inkie-pinkie-ponkie" has been your all-time-reliable-shoulder to lean on when in dilemma (in this case - a 'tri'lemma?), you don't think twice before chanting it aloud. And lo and behold, after two strenuous round of elimination, emerges winner.
Mistake #5 : Simple and short ,also the most threatening - The mail was decided to be sent to abcdxyz@gmail.com from you@yahoo.com
Mistake #6 : You think all is well.
Mistake #7 : On a mail-check,you come across a reply to the one previously sent. You decide to open it and read.
Mistake #8 : You read it. (This is classified as a different mistake from #7 coz #7 was a mistake with decision and #8 was a mistake with action. :-D )
Mistake #9 : "Who is this?? I don't know you". You laugh out loud and tell yourself "Haha, I know Mr abc d xyz is trying to fool me" :-))..And yeah,you laugh louder...louder..
Mistake #10 : You reply - "Its meeeeeeeeee".. Informative indeed! Wikipedia wouldn't have performed that answering as well as you!
Mistake #11 : He replies "Who is meeeeeeeee??From what I can make out,you seem to be a student..blah blah.. ". And you still think Mr abc d xyz is fooling you,especially since he has delivered all the right info about you. Still... :-(
Until now, it had been Murphy's Laws all the way,stealing all the glitter and glamour of the show - things going wrong...followed by more things going wrong..followed by even more things going wrong...Will something go right please?

And then Murphy's Loss(To expand,Murphy's Laws's Loss,the second word being silent) comes into action...
If anything can go right,it might...
< Curtains raise>
<Scene#1>
<Yahoo_Mesenger>
<New Friend_Request name="xyz_dlmn" Accept_request="0">
< Status >

Pending...viewing profile...thinking....trying to recognize....no way...whoz this guy in picture??....wrack your brains.....no way...no brains found...oops...!!
Cerebellum crashed...restart machine...think again..."aiyyyo....ithu lavan...aano? appo matte lavan alle e lavan alle a lavan alle e lavan???? e lavan e(lectronic)- lavan aanu...a lavan ende cousin aanu...athu ve,ithu re ..ippo technique pidi kitti...
Once again proved that you are the greatest dumbo ever to have been born! Anyways, apology ,mail sent to xyz_dlmn for mailing to his id thinking it was abc d xyz's.
Change Accept_request to 1(why?zimbly..for fun).
</Status>
</New Friend Request>
</Yahoo_Mesenger>
</Scene#1>

<Scene#2>
<Yahoo_Mesenger>
<chat_window name="abc_dlmn">

you : hi there! how are u?
he : hi..am fine..and u?
you : me too...that was extremely hilarious incident..don't u think so? :-D .. right mails landing in wrong inbox!! am sorry for the mess...!
he : thats ok..so tell me something abt urself..
you : blah blah blah..
he : blah blah blah..
...................................
he : ok,me gotta run now...bye..nice talking to u...cya sometime soon...
you : same here! bye!

</chat_window>
</Yahoo_Mesenger>
</Scene#2>


<Scene#3>
<Phone>
<caller name="you">

you : hi :-)
he : hi :-)
you : blah blah
he : blah blah
</caller>
</Phone>
</ Scene#3>
<Scene#4>
<CafeCoffeeDay>
< members name1="abc dlmn" name2="you">

you : hi :-)
he : hi :-)
you : blah blah
he : blah blah
</members>
</CafeCoffeeDay>
</Scene#4>
<Scene#5>
<Movie name="Hum Apke he Kaun">
<members name1="abc dlmn" name2="you">

you : hi :-)
he : hi :-)
you : blah blah
he : blah blah
</ members>
</Movie >
</Scene#5>
< Scene#6>
wat next? to be done... ;-)
</Scene#6>
<Scene#7 >
wat next? to be done... ;-)
</Scene#7>
things go on....
And they lived happily ever-after??? ;-) To hell with Murphy's Laws...
Bottom line : If anything can go right,it will...
</Curtains raise>

Wednesday, May 10, 2006

What thou speaketh is English?

Haven't you faced situations in life where you wished you could have rolled on the floor with laughter,but since the butt of the joke is usually somebody much superior to you in the heirarchy,you have had to submerge those giggles and at the same time prevent your face from turning pink in the effort.

I remember an incident way back in the first year of my engineering days.All of us were attending our first class in the mechanical workshop. Everybody looked curiously at all the gigantic machines around us and for people like me who happen to be both vertically and horizontally challenged,it was only natural to let out a silent prayer to Lord Vignesha, hoping that these metallic giants would cooperate with me when I need them to.

Having sensed our uneasiness in the presence of machines equalling twice our height,the tutor,with an air of superiority,cleared his throat and began with the rules and regulations to be followed in the lab. "First and foremost,if you ignore the machine,don't work the machine"..

All of us quirked our eyebrows..what was that? Somebody dared to ask.."Sir...?Excuse me..but..could you repeat what you said?"..By then everybody had a smile on their faces..growing at an amazing rate to an endless laughter against which our bodies were fighting a battle in vain. But nobody dared to laugh...except this single guy,oops,and he was sent out :-)
At times people speak English in the most idiotic way ,seemingly non-idiotic to them that we are at a loss to decide whether to laugh or act as though you didn't notice anything wrong! You get the message clear and loud,so does everybody....but... :-D
Reminds me of this bird watcher friend of my brother,with whom he had frequent and interesting correspondences. His clumsy broken English sentences even managed to be humour laden.And the best part of it was,being a nature-lover that he is, nobody got suprised when he signed off as "Yours naturally,XYZ" :-D
And as a foot note,in case you thought such incidents occured due to the lack of education.. look at how education ruined this sweet 6 yr old girl in my neighbourhood. What she said about her pregnant mom one day sent both my mom and me laughing to death that the little girl was almost close to tears for having been teased! "Mommy said,its a bull in her tummy..." chirped the innocent girl. My mom and me gave each other quizzical looks.I pressed on.."Bull? She told you that? But how can a bull get inside your mom's tummy?" She couldn't understand what was it in her statement that I didn't follow.So with great deal of patience she explained.."Seeeee....mommy's tummy is big na? she told me..its a bull inside her tummy....u know..bull...bulllllllll.....not cowwwwwww....." Any comments ;-)
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