Tuesday, June 28, 2011

The Curious Case of Kuttan @ Wipro

They say that any stone you throw in Bengaluru will invariably land on an IT professional's head. I say any stone a Mallu(1) throws in Bengaluru will invariably land on another Mallu's head. Putting two and two together, lets all say that there is a ver huge probability of you listening to a "Poda #$%#%. Ninde okke appanu kallu perukkal aano da pani(2)" when you throw a stone in Bengaluru.

And so with that great "Law of Kallu-on-a-Mallu" explained lets move to a problem I frequently faced sometime ago.

Precisely, the one and a half "fresher years" of Wipro days. Those were the times when IRCTC was friendly, Kallada Travels did not mean Impossible and weekend trip home was not that big a chore to be planned months in advance.

In fact, meeting relatives and friends were also not a big deal. And so was attending somebody's wedding. Or a temple visit.

A common episode that followed in such occasions.

Random Person is RP from now on.

RP : "Are you working in Bangalore?"
Me : "Yes, RP Uncle/Aunty."
RP : "Which company?"
Me : "Wipro."
RP : "Oh Wipro? My sister's husband's sister's son also works in Wipro."

(Comment: Corollary to "Law of Kallu-on-a-Mallu": Any Mallu back in Kerala can, at any time, produce a list of at least 4 other Mallus he/she knows who works in Wipro AND TCS AND CTS AND Infosys in Bengaluru - Yes, I mean 4 separate lists - mind you!)

Me : "Is it? That is nice. Wipro is a very big office. "

(Comment: That is my way of telling them to stop that thread from going to the exact direction I feared. Nevertheless, nobody bothers to pick that hint!)

RP : "He has been there for 2 years now. Campus placement."

Me : "OK. That is nice. Which office is he in? "

(Comment: The hint is lost in the sea of Nadaswarams I guess. RP is keen on continuing the thread - in that same direction which I didn't like)

RP : "Bangalore Office. Wipro. "

Me : "There are four big Wipro offices in Bangalore. And few smaller ones."

RP : "Athonnum ariyilla (I don't know). All I know is that its in Bangalore."

Me : "What is his name, RP Uncle/Aunty?"

RP : "Aiyyo mole. I don't know his real name. We call him Kuttan at home. "

Me : (Smile)

(Comment: I knew what would come next. I had to "discover" a Wipro-ite who cannot be searched on the company database, is tall, fair, curly haired from Mannarkkad. My lone clue : he is called "Kuttan" at home.)

RP : "He is very tall. And fair. His hair is curly. "

Me : (Smile)

(Comment: Yeah, it was not a great info. I guessed that anyways!)

RP : "Molkku kandupidikkaan pattuo? (Can you find him?)"

Me : "Not without his full name, RP Uncle/Aunty. We have a database and we need the name to search it. "

RP : "Oh. OK. I think his name is Arun. I don't know his full name. He is very tall and fair. You can't miss spotting him in a crowd. "

Me : "OK." (Smile)

-----------------------

Well, now you know why I quit Wipro ;-)
Since then I have moved to a company where the probability of the existence of a Kuttan or a Baiju is remote. So people change topic the moment I mention the name of my current company. But for people who remember the fact that I was in Wipro once upon a time, the story remains the same!

So how many Kuttans have you tried hunting for in Wipro? :-p



Note:

1. "Mallu": I have not used this word to offend any of my Malayali brother/sister. I am quite comfortable being called a Mallu. I understand many of you might not be. Apologies, if this hurts.

2. (Not effectively) Translated to: "Get Lost! Does your father pick stones for a job?"

10 comments:

sandeep said...

curious case of Benjamin kuttan.. :)

Arun said...

haha.. nice one. One comment I always hear from such mallu uncles/aunties when they hear the name of my company is -- "Oh u didnt get into infosys/wipro". For them ppl go to other companies only when they dont get into infy/wipro.

Rat said...

I am deeply offended

sandeep said...

one of the reasons i moved to startups :) after asking for the company name they usually ignores me, probably thinking that 'poor chap could not get a job in wipro/infosys/ibm' and then start talking abt somebody else in 'wipro/infosys/wipro', which i can ignore :)

the trouble is when somebody ask u to enquire abt a prospective bride / groom working in bangalore :)

anoop said...

i've faced this one, two , three, four,five... times.(god! i've lost count).. and now i dont get that at all when i mention the army :D

Vimal Gasper said...

njan pandu thudangiye vere industry il aayathu kondu ithonnum kekandi vannilla...
But, when I respond that I work in B'lore the next question/response is: "So you are a software engineer". Hell, no there are other professionals in B'lore.

Sushil said...

Have you checked the gardener or gate keeper or that table cleaner in canteen?
perhaps that guy will be the Kuttan @Wipro

Usha said...

yeah right, lots of kuttans and ammus around in bengaluru. More so when you walk into the malls or madivala, you'll hear more malayalam than you'd hear in mallu-land.

and yes I've been at the recieving end of "why don't you try to get into Infosys/Wipro/TCS?" many times when I happily flaunted my Sun Microsystems tag! Now I know, they were all probably looking for kuttan, and wanted me to help find him :D

phoenikhs said...

This should make a good short film.

Lavanya Sethi said...

I booked a rail ticket for me using irctc vide PNR no. 2562870011 (Transaction ID: 0480387060) for journey from DMO-LTT on September 2, 2012 for the journey on September 22, 2012 in Train No. 11072, the only train plying to Mumbai from nearest station from my home town. Unfortunately, I could not travel and i had to file TDR on 16/09/2012. I was informed by irctc that refund will come within 90 days.

After 4 months of follow up, the status of TDR is showing as regretted. Please hold to get the refund.
I filed the complaint in Consumer Court also but. Still not got any response. Please help me to get some solution.

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