Monday, June 04, 2007

Cooking for Dummies - The 10 point Mantra!

1) Before you start off anything,DO NOT check if you have all the ingredients. If you do so,believe me, you will not only end up having cooked nothing but also doubly hungry than what you were 2 hrs ago.

2) As a corollary to the above, it is a fact that you are never in posession of all the ingredients mentioned in the recipe. And DON'T even try to fetch them from somewhere!Its a waste of time! This was my first important lesson.

3) If the missing ingredients happen to be scattered mostly in the top portion of the recipe in the book, it means you are in danger.. (you are trying to make a chicken biriyani without chicken!). Instead if they are towards the bottom,breathe easy, leaving them out is purely harmless !

4) If you have decided to cook something, don't even think twice! Cook it!

5) While cooking non-veg, rely on those Meat Masalas to save your day! They make up for your bloopers very well! :-)

6) Keep stirring like crazy.... non-stop !!!!! :-))))

7)Keep your recipes out-of-reach of your victims so that you don't give them too much of hope and they don't know what exactly were you attempting to cook! (If the victim happens to be somebody who knows what exactly we possess and what we don't,then surely don't allow him/her to take a look, cos its people's nature to notice what is not than what is.. human
psychology ;-) )

8) Keep your utensils squeaky-clean. This way you earn trust of your victims ! This also slightly lessens their tension and helps them to relax (atleast,until they actually taste it!) ;-)

9) If the dishes get really bad, serve them in your bestest bowls (aesthetic appeal does a lot to soothe the strength of "de-complimenting" ;-) )

10) Finally, if you are lucky enough to get a pass score ,make sure you let the world know of it! Move the contents to a jazzier serving bowl, garnish it with anything that you lay your hands upon,take snaps from all angles and multiple lights ,send it across to all of your friends, declare it on your blog (if possible, update your orkut album too!!) ... phew! we are not done yet.. use your mobile fones up friends and send sms!!!!

Once done with all this circus, bow to your audience and thank your victims for having co-operated :-D

Happy Cooking....Be a Winner!!!

PS :- Sorry Sand.., But I know u still love me :-p


Rat said...

if all this fails, welcome to Pluto :-D
Well, i dint know that its such a Herculean task that you do inside that 5x15 room (which you call kitchen) !
Wishing all the best (not to you!!)

Sandeep said...

here comes me, the guinea pig... :((
wht to comment..
.. all the best.. wht else? :D

Sreeram said...

Of all ingredients... I would say one takes care of Mr. Salt well. Too much of him, and solace is far...