Thursday, June 11, 2009

Home Alone.

Exhausted, I lugged myself home. It was Friday. I wasn't excited about spending the weekend alone. With him out of town, it made no sense to celebrate it on your own! I turned the key to unlock the door of my apartment. The key clicked. It made a loud noise in the silence of the night. Inside, I switched on the living room lights. The clock struck ten, making me jump. And the silence returned.

It started giving an eerie feeling and I felt strange being in my own home! I switched on the TV to break the silence. CNN IBN still had some news to end the day and the reporter was nonchalantly speaking about something. I let the TV be and went for a shower.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

While I prepared to go to bed, I texted him "Good night, I am scared to be alone!” Just then I heard a beep from the bed side table. "1 new message", showed his phone. How did he forget to take it along! Brushing my thoughts aside, I rang up mom next. She was worried like all moms about me spending a night alone.

"I'm fine, mom.” I lied, like all daughters!

MTV style check showed how to wear your scarf. Bah! I switched the TV off. Back in bed, something crossed my mind which made me sit up startled. MTV? But I remember watching CNN IBN! Or am I already too sleepy to remember? And just then I heard a noise which sounded like the balcony door swing. Had I not locked it? I slipped on my slippers and went to check.

Yes, it was swaying. There was a gentle breeze. It was a cold. Locking the balcony doors, I went back and tried to sleep. I probably thought I heard more noises; of clicks, thuds, but brushed them off. I must be imagining. I tossed and turned for some time. Then I recited a small prayer and shut my eyes tight.
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I think I slept for a while before I was awakened by a loud thud in the living room. I woke up with a start and sat in my bed. I was sweating and my heart was palpitating. My hands had gone cold. I was now sure that I wasn't alone here, there was an intruder! Burglar! Will he kill me? God, help!!

I rummaged through the draw in the dark. Mustering all courage I inched towards the living room, armed with a pocket knife. And I waited there, with bated breath, for my intruder to make a move. Nothing happened. Few agonizing minutes passed, seeming like hours. Then I saw vague shadows of 3 people in the dark. I let out a gasp.. I was to fight 3!!! One shadow moved towards me.

My feet wobbled. Hands shivered. The shadow came closer and stopped a foot ahead. All of a sudden, I felt a large hand fall on my shoulder and I let out a blood curdling scream. Almost immediately, the lights came on and I saw my friends standing there, singing in unison "Happy Birthday to you!” And there he was, the shadow-guy who scared the life out of me, who should have been out of town, grinning in the corner, ready with a birthday cake!

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

PS : Will keep editing this version :) Had planned to send this as an entry for the short story contest in office. Pour in your suggestions to improve! And thanks for the comments!!!

PS : Updated with final version.

[25th June,2009] PS : Btw, I won it :) Thank u all, for ur encouragement & comments!! I am giving this to you, my readers :)

14 comments:

സന്ദീപ്‌ ഉണ്ണിമാധവന്‍ said...

happy birthday to u ... and what a wonderful way to celebrate the birthday!

Dhanush Gopinath said...

He He.. That would be the most scariest birthday celebration of anyone's life.

Best Wishes

jj said...

The pocket knife came in handy anyways right? :P

that was quite a scary b'day ... belated b'day wishes to you :)

sandeep said...

lolz... people thought that this was a real incident..

Rat said...

post it !

Soorya said...

@sandeep unnimadhavan, dhanush and jj : Thanks a ton for ur wishes! But you are early by a week.. this was just a cooked-up story for a story writing contest in office. Anyways, shall take ur wishes in advance :) And spl tks to sandeep unnimadhavan for all the suggestions given offline :)

@sandeep : if it had been for real, I should have had to see u wince in pain.. remember I hv a pocket knife!

@rat : thanks! done :) (with a few modification.. thr was a word limit of 600 and so I cut short many lines)

Karthik Srinivasan said...

Good Job! :)

Geo said...

'story writing contest' aano 'suspense story writing contest' aano?

"Sand, veettil gun sookshichu vekkaruthu, engaanum vechirunnel ippo smoke aayene" ennu oru comment idaan vannathaa... ellaam veruthe aayi.

Deepak C U said...

Great short story and by the way Happy Bday soorya !! I wouldnt be surprised if I would be reading a "cherukatha samaaharam" written by you within the next 2 years.. great work ..really enjoyed the way you carried us through the story ..

Arun said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Arun said...

Congrats Surya for Winning 1st Prize in the short story competition with ur Home Alone... adutha story il sandeep ne oru super hero aakki maattam.. just an idea :-)

Ashwadhy said...

Neat one. And hey Congrats!

Rat said...

Congrats !
Ini poyi matham maariyekkaruthu..
Oru story eyuthi thammaanam kitti ennu vechu ahankaaram onnum paadilla.
Perum ithu thanne mathi..
Soorya maati Soorayya ennonnum aakkanda.
Pinnoru kaaryam.. Treat benam :P

Soorya said...

@karthik thank you, for reading this here :)

@geo :))))

@deepak thanks :) and yeah, I will be on cloud 9 if i ever do that!!!

@Arun thanks :)) hv to take permission from sandeep before I make him fly from building to building!!

@Ashwadhy thank you :)

@Rat buahahhaha ... nice joke!

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